Just for Funsies Friday!

Is this not the prettiest decaf non fat latte that you ever did see?! If you live in Sac and want one of your own Check out Temple!

Happy Friday Peeps!

This is not a weight loss blog...

Except for today.

I've never wanted to broadcast my body and eating habits to the internet so I never ever in 1 babillion years considered writing a weight loss blog, but that doesn't mean I couldn't.  I know more about the topic then I ever ever wished.

So Sarah, if you don't want to write a weight loss blog, why are you then indeed writing about weight loss?  Well blog let me tell you why:

1) It is currently consuming a large quantity of my life.  And since this blog is supposed to be about my life it's going in this one(?) time only

2) I think health is important to people and this really is a health post and not strictly a weight loss post

3) I do what I want... so put that in your pipe and smoke it.

But in all reality I am spending a lot of my time these days thinking about (and acting on those thoughts) about health and fitness and not shoving my pie hole full of...well...pie (and/or CHEESE)

I know a lot about weight loss for a combo of reasons including but not limited to the fact that I have been obsessed with body image for a very long and sad period of my life, there's a lot of info out there and I'm a giant nerd who sucks it alllll in, I find body chemistry and nutrition fascinating, and I've probably gained and lost the equivalent of a toddler about 900 times in my relatively short life.

Due to a few factors I've definitely struggled with healthy eating and maintaining a healthy body weight.  And since I'm into lists today here they are in no particular order:

A) I love food

B) I love food

C) I don't find many forms of exercise particularly enjoyable

D) I have a genetic cocktail of issues working against me

E) Oh did I mention that I love food?

F) I'm definitely an emotional eater - and all emotions = food

G) I love food

H) I'm also a boredom eater...urgh

I) I'm 1/2 Italian - nuff said.

So in high school I was really active and generally ate anything I wanted and I was probably really healthy then (minus some of the crap I was putting into my body like nachos)  I'm sure I was probably at a normal body weight also but I definitely thought I was huge.  And it was horrible.  It did not help that my friends were stick thin.  But despite some mildly bad body issues in my brain I survived and loved my life and was healthy and fit.  I was running and swimming and playing water polo.  I'm sure it was my most fit time ever.

And then I went to college.  Where I was so insanely out of my element and was having an epically hard time adjusting to the new places and people as well figuring out who I was.  And there was all that going to class, never sleeping and really bad eating habits that coincide with going to college.  Oh and the fact that I was really not doing any working out.  Needless to say I gained way more than the freshman 15.  After college I got a new job (in the sticks) had some major life changes (a relationship ended) and hit an all time low point.  At the urging of my then boss (and now brother from another mother) I signed up for a 6 week boot camp class.  We started eating only things that were made with 90% cardboard.  We worked out 2 hours a day (I'm not lying 2 whole hours).  And we never went out to eat or drink the booze.  Let me tell you what.  The weight definitely came off.  And I was STRONG.  Like carry essentially my own body weight strong.  But while it was incredibly positive in that I learned a ton about nutrition and I shed some unhealthy weight.  I became also, a woman obsessed.  Like CRAZY.  The meticulous tracking of calories, the weighing myself multiple times a day (or hour), the reclusiveness that ensued from being so overly concerned about eating, the planning and the weighing and measuring.  It was definitely bordering on disordered eating.  And was most definitely a coping mechanism I was using to feel in control of my life that felt out of my (control freak) hands.

Life changed.  It had to.  I went back to school (shocker) and entered into a new relationship (yay SP!)  The stress and change of it all was immense.  Writing a thesis and finishing grad school and then very quickly starting a new job = not a small falling off the wagon but rather an avalanche.  I cried everyday writing my thesis.  And apparently cheese and chocolate were the only answers.  I lost 5lbs in one week when I started my new job because it was so stressful.  But don't worry I counteracted that with another 10+ lbs out of fear and stress eating.  Needless to say that I am back to the place where my body no longer feels strong and healthy.  I'm back in the place where clothes don't fit quite right and all my musclessss are hiding.  And while my endurance is still pretty dang good (I mean I ran an entire 10k just a few weeks ago - i use the word "ran" loosely of course) my strongs are not so strong and my healthies are not so healthy.

And with big (huge) life changes on the future -  you know like weddings and things that start with k and rhyme with bids I want to be the happiest and healthiest me I can be.  So after many discussions with SP about how I can be a healthy me without being an insane person who has no friends and cries because she's hungry. I am now dieting - sort of.  And by dieting I mean eating less than the truckfull I was eating before.  And eating healthier things (like 90% less cheese) and more things that come from the ground instead of out of a plastic package.  I also started another bootcamp class. This one is only 1 hour 3 times a week.  Which I think is more manageable and more realistically sustainable.  That being said.  I started on Monday morning (at 6 F'ING AM) and it is now Wednesday night and I  can only finally just walk up and down the stairs without groaning.  And let me tell you what, the couple of sneezes I had yesterday, were akin to having my stomach cut open while being awake.  But all the pain and awkward limping, its pretty satisfying I'm not going to lie.  The competitive person in me is fighting with myself and making me work hard.  And I'm proud.

Now its been a week of being conscious of what I eat (and to be completely truthful I am watching calories - they have an App for that!).  And I feel so much better already.  I feel proud of myself for my moderation.  I feel proud of myself for the pain in my body that means I'm working it hard.  That means one day I will be carrying those heavy things again.  I feel proud that I am always re-orienting my mind to my health.  To enjoying MY life.  And not focusing on every detail and nit picking my gorgeous body that has given me this healthy life.  Because even though I'm trying to reshape my body I am still so much more than it.  And it is great in every stage.  

So will I be updating my blog every day with my weight loss changes and what I'm eating and how I'm exercising, no.  But I am making some changes.  Making me more proud - and infinitely more sore.  Because I love this life.  Every little bit of it, up and down.  And this life is far too short to make it any shorter with cheese ;)

Here's to me.  

Because I can have my light beer and drink it too!

Just for Funsies Friday!

My favorite speed to go on the freeway!

Just in case you didn't hear, today Sacramento tested what it would be like during the apocalypse by shutting down major freeways during rush hour...


Let's all say it together - WORK FROM HOME!


Happy Weekend Friends!  Be safe out there!

It Get's Better - The BYU Edition

I know this has already made the rounds and I'm late on the blog-wagon.  But I had an internal struggle about whether or not to say something about it here.  As I (believe it or not!) like to keep blogland semi-neutral.

Needless to say, or maybe need to say, this video really really moved me.  I'm not sure my commentary would really add anything to this video, as it is pretty profound on it's own, so I'll keep it short and just tell you what this video meant to me.

SP comes from a Mormon family and I grew up practicing Catholic.  We both learned a great deal from the respective faiths that we grew up in and I think that we would not be ourselves without that background.  However we both found that those faith backgrounds did not match with our current selves.  Part of the reason for that is because we are together and our respective faiths look less then favorably on us for that.  I won't speak for SP, but leaving my church because I felt alienated from it simply for being who I am was devastatingly hard.  And I still dabble with the idea of going back - because I am still deeply spiritual and as my mother has always told me, the biggest changes happen from within, and not from leaving.  Right now it's not a possibility for me.  Because I simply can't reconcile the hurt feelings - and that's for me to grow on.

The events that have taken place in my life in the last 6 months have made me part of the "it get's better" statistics.  SP and I have experienced our fair of share of struggles, but things really have changed for the better, against what seemed to be unmovable odds (and that's called God & the Universe kickin' me in the rear again!...thinking I know things and stuff)

To me this video is hope.  Things that seem unchangeable - change.  Hearts turn.  People grow.  My optimism is vindicated! (jk...sort of)  Sure it's a drop in the bucket and I'm sure it's controversial (I can't even begin to fathom the courage it took for the individuals in the video to expose themselves in that way, a big kudos to all of them!) but it's a drop that makes a lot of ripples.  And I hope they are ripples of good.

This life is short.  Let's all be a little better to one another today.

Just for Funsies Friday!

How you know you work in nerdville....

Chinese Food Easter

  Kori "Celebrating" Easter

I'm a big holiday buff.  Mostly I love them (eh on v-day but we won't go THERE again) Give me some adorable deco and a reason to try new foods and I'm down for learning about traditions and cultures, religions and events.  Diwali?  Yes.  Kwanaza sure. Christmas (obvs) Passover? you betcha.  

Weirdly Easter has never been that big of a deal to me in terms of the celebratory portion.  I understand fully (and appreciate) the deep religious significance behind the holiday for Christians (having grown up "An Easter Peoples" - a Catholic for those of you who didn't spend 20 years of your life on a VERY hard pew)  I guess I'm not into pastels?  And ham is great and all but I don't need a holiday for an excuse to have some highly salted meats.  Easter brings back happy childhood memories of course...but it's not the same as other holidays for me.  Easter doesn't have the same build up.  (Or maybe it doesn't have the same highly commercialized status as Christmas and I really am just a shmuck...mmmmm...)  I never decorate.  We never do anything huge on the day.  In fact it was often a sunday we stayed away from church (my mom wasn't into crowds, and I've gained that fun genetic trait and multiplied it by 1million...clausterphobia...lets all say it together now)

But now I've inherited another family's holiday traditions on top of my family's somewhat non traditional views on easter (except for all those holiday celebrating shut ins of course)  So we spent Saturday with SP's family.  And the nature of having 2 infants, 6 kids, 2 dogs, and 10 adults means there's a little more hubbub surrounding all holidays, even ones that I haven't always put a lot of stock in.

As a heads up I took ZERO pictures, my hands were full of chubby baby cheeks, so you will have to use your imagination.  Let me tell you what.  I'm going to have to have a steady stream of toddlers in my life because they make every event about a millionty times better.  There was a delicious dinner full of sunshine and rag ball and duck duck goose.  The weather couldn't have been more perfect.  Sun shinning full of laughter and hilarious things coming out of the mouths of babes.  Like one little girl cousin saying to the other little girl cousin "we're just ADORABLE aren't we?!" or the exclamation upon opening a "special" egg with $1.00 in it "HOLY POPCORN!"  It was very relaxing (minus Kori still trying to nip and herd small children, um yeah, we'll be calling the dog whisperer again soon).  All in all a nice day with (a lot) of happy people.

So to continue the Easter festivities on Sunday we...wait for it... did nothing.  Almost literally. Although I did wake SP up at DAWN to go to church with me.  It was still dark. And maybe the internet said mass was at 7:00am when in fact it was at 7:30 (oopsie shmoopsie)  But we made it.  We looked nice. And neither of us was smited.  Smote? Smitten...I don't know.  But there was no lightening in our general area.  Then we went out to brunch and stuffed ourselves full of eggs and tea and french toast and it was everything I dreamed Easter brunch should be - tons of food and almost nobody awake yet!  Easter afternoon was filled with one good bestie who joined us for a truck load of Chinese food and a disturbing number of chocolate eggs.  We literally laid on the couch, watching episodes of Shahs of Sunset, Chopped, and many other terribly trashy television shows.  If Gluttony and Sloth don't scream Easter then, really, I don't know what does!

All in all it was beautiful and slow and covered in sunshine. Practically perfect in every way.  (And I'm holding onto that sunshine inside of me as long as I can because the forecast says rain for the next 5 days...blegh)  But you know what? This Easter, it was one for the books.  Not because it was something extraordinarily out of the ordinary but because it left me feeling brighter then before.  Life really surprises you sometimes.  I'll just leave you with that tidbit to roll around in your mouth for awhile.

And now for your viewing pleasure...what my dog really thinks of me:

Just another piece of furniture in her life...

Hope your holidays (and your everydays!) are treating you well!

Sunshine Besos!