1) think about babies all the time
2) track cycles and medications and doctors appointments on not 1 but 2 calendars (maybe even 3 or 4 if you really want to take it up a notch)
3) hang around with people who have babies or who are actively trying to have babies
4) make sure ALL of your friends and coworkers are pregnant at the same time
5) make sure you are definitely not pregnant
6) look at how much you've already spent trying to prep yourself to be pregnant
7) still don't get pregnant
8) make sure some more of your friends get pregnant
9) feel sorry for yourself
10) try to pretend your dog is a baby. feel bad when she won't stay swaddled to save your life.
I jest, but I am feeling pretty sad about not having any babies right now. I'm trying to focus on how great my life is (it really is great, I'm LOVING my new job and SP is feeling pretty great about the company she joined as well, we've taken some cool trips, life is good) but it's hard not to let that lonely part of my heart wander to the baby-less hole that is taking up so much space inside me. I know, I know, just wait until I have a newborn and I haven't slept in 8 weeks I will look back on this "free" time and be grateful that I had it. But right now, when there is no hindsight, its feeling pretty lonely in my baby parts.
And I know this sounds pretty self pitying and like i'm hating on my friends who are pregnant but only the first part is true (I'm throwing myself a pretty great pity party at the moment) I'm LOVING my friends who are pregnant right now. Of course I'm sad its not me yet, but I'm glad there are all these little loves waiting to come into the world. Hopefully they will love their Aunty Sarah just as much as I plan to love them!
So here's to all you baby-less people out there. And here's to hoping our little ones in heaven find their way down here soon... If they don't, my dog is in really big trouble ;)
