I’m essentially an event planner in my professional life. It happens to be a very specific event that I plan every year, that involves some bizarre circumstances and not very “party like” situations but let’s be honest – my skillz they lie in the organization. So when it came to planning a wedding for SP and me I thought – piece of cake yo. I mean it’s a party which is fun and it’s all about me and SP (double fun!) And it’s really not that big compared to what I spend 11months out of the year planning day in and day out.
And you know what?
I WAS WRONG. (put that on your calendar because that phrase, it doesn’t show up often…because people, I’m the queen of being right…all.the.time.)
Don’t get me wrong. This is not a wedding hating post, this isn’t a post to let you know that SP and I now hate each other and can’t believe we are having this wedding (we don’t and we’re glad we’re having it) It’s just a post about what I thought I knew and what I’ve now learned.
And even if you’re not planning a wedding I think some of this stuff is applicable all the time.
So without further ado –what I’ve learned (so far) while planning a wedding:
1) You are always going to offend somebody or hurt somebody’s feelings – SP and I are champion hikers. We are well practiced in taking the high road. Sometimes our feet hurt a lot. But dude. This is a lesson I’m learning over and over and over again in life. And as a chronic people pleaser this one has been a @$$ kicker. I can’t make everybody happy. I’m trying my damndest though, I swear.
2) Flowers die, cake gets eaten, chairs don’t matter – not singularly focusing on the stuff that doesn’t matter somehow becomes insanely hard. Should we have purple napkins and margaritas or white linens and beer? We really want cupcakes but if we have those can we have white flowers? Or will they clash? If the only thing people remember from my wedding are what type of chairs I had then I sucked at planning my wedding. My wedding is not about chair covers and aisle runners and flatware. My wedding is about marrying the person I love and having a raging party with my friends and family. Remember our smiles and the dancing and the love.
3) The wedding is not about us – this one was rough for me to swallow. It still is, because on most days I’m pretty sure the sun rotates around me ;) But really the wedding is for celebrating with family and friends and loved ones. The marriage is for us. The life and love and experiences – those are ALL mine. The wedding is for everybody else. I mean I’ll be there (I suppose that’s kind of important…jk jk) but I recognize now that this one day, the sun has to rotate around others as well.
4) The rest of your life will go to sh*t – I like the multi tasking. I think I’m good at it. But inherently people are not wired for multitasking. Our little brains, they are meant to focus on one thing at a time and dedicate ourselves to it. When you dedicate your life to planning your wedding you suddenly forget how to work, dress yourself, do laundry, eat normally, and exercise. Every day things like not eating beef jerkey for 3 meals a day seems impossible. Sitting on the floor crouched over your 100th DIY wedding banner – now that you have super human strength for. You may never stand up straight again but that’s beside the point.
5) The things and people that don’t matter, they fall away – Another lesson I’m sure I should have learned long ago, but I guess I’m dumb (nahhh!) It’s funny who shows up and in what ways. But the people that love you and care for you – they know what to do and they will be there in every way they can. And those are the ones that matter.
And in wedding related goodness. Here's a few dorky pics from our dorky friendsie
wedding shower which was practically perfect in every way!
Friendsies hanging out and celebrating!
Beautiful Dress Making Teams...
And a little bridal pictionary!
These ones won for best drawings, can you guess what they are?
Honey moon and bridezilla...yeah we have some masters amongst us!
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