How to remove your finger prints using only paper and your own spit.

  Oh Heyyyy Paper!

Step 1: Open 5 GABILLIONITY GILLIONTY envelopes - each containing approximately a bible's worth of paper.  And those of you reading the old testament like me, you know that's pretty much a sh*t ton.  Excuse my French, but dannnng.

Step 2: Lick your fingers ever 2 pages because they are so dry you can no longer pick up anything, let alone another dang gum piece of paper

Step 3: Get a paper cut.  Lick it.  Dry your fingers out some more 

Step 4: Do this 40 trillion times a day for 10 hours straight for 2-3 weeks straight.  Repeat, repeat, repeat.

I title this one: Study in Desk Surrounded Part 1

And... Study in Desk Surrounded Part 2

It's application season for my fabulous science nerd program right about this time.  And thus begins the portion of my life where I listen to every song that exists on pandora as I sit in my office literally surrounded by students paperwork.  We are WAY over our target applications this year (somewhere around the 920 mark - multiply that by at least 3 pieces of paper and a file folder per applicant and you can see why I have no fingerprints) which means that I will probably not see the light of day for another 2.5 - 3 weeks.  I mean on Friday I forgot to pee.  Me.  The ultimate pee-er of the universe.  I got home and realized I had not peed all day.  That's how you know something is really wrong...

I did something crazy this year though, I hired myself a student worker.  Aka hired slave.  I feel cruel paying this highly intelligent woman minimum wage to open envelopes and file things.  But she needs money and I need help.  And I do listen to good pandora stations so I guess its not the worst deal in the world for her.  For me it's like winning the freakin lottery.  3 hours of help in one day was like magical fairies of joy came down from heaven and cleaned up my pig sty of an office.  I almost cried.. happy sparkle tears that is.

Happy Monday kids.  May your week go fast and your weekend last long!

Over and Out,

Fingerprintless