Prior to getting illegally married to SP, I always did my own taxes.
Turbo tax was pretty self explanatory and I don't make enough money or own
enough property or valuable things to make it complicated. Fill in the
blanks. Get tax return. (or pay that one HORRIBLE year when all my
paperwork was messed up) This year SP and I took one look at the laws
regarding filing taxes as Registered Domestic Partners (RDP) - the gay version
of marriage in CA right now - and knew there was no way that we could file our
taxes accurately. And yet, we still don't make a lot of money, we don't
own a house, or have children. So, in reality, we should be able to file
together no problem. And still. No. Dice. So we paid
(some really nice people) a decent chunk of our tax return to file our taxes
for us. So that we wouldn't do it wrong. So that we wouldn't be
audited and have it cost us even more of our hard earned money.
As many of you know SP and I want babies. The other day I was thinking
about what would happen if something happened to either one of us during
labor/delivery. What if there was an emergency? Would we have a
legal right to one another? Would our families allow us to visit?
Who would get the baby should something terrible happen (premature I know but
these thoughts, they come) What if one of us becomes disabled? Or
hurt? Or god forbid - Killed. What if we win the lottery or lose
all of our money. Will we have any legal obligation to one another?
If you've met us, if you've seen us together - you know we love each
other. I can see the love in SP's eyes every day. I know that we
will fight for our illegal marriage no matter what the government or mean
spirited people say about us. We already fought to get here. We've
been tested. Being Married, legally, it means something. It holds
weight with others. Because no matter how deep our commitment to one
another, no matter how hard we love one another - some people they need a piece
of paper to give us what we know we have already earned. Just by being us
and in love. But on top of the fact that it means something
socially. It means something legally. And those what if's and tax
issues above, those are things that plague SP and I on a regular basis.
And that sort of thing...legalese and hoop jumping...that shouldn't color your
marriage. Because let's be honest, marriage is plenty hard on its own.
Today many people are wearing red or changing their facebook photos to the red
human rights equal sign to show their support for marriage equality in this
country. The solidarity has been surprisingly touching. I truly
hope that future generations will walk through this world with very different
lenses - ones that aren't shaded by sexual orientation and gender norms, and
discrimination. And I am reminded that I'm lucky to be alive in history
and to stand on what I believe to be the right side of history.
Remember when separate wasn't equal before? Just sayin.
Fingers Crossed.
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