Why I Decided NOT to Apply for the Great Job

So yes, I recognize that I owe you many a post about my life and definitely a long long post about the new house but today is not that post.

Today is a post about making choices and living your best life.

Well as you may or may not know, I love student affairs.  I love my job.  I love nerdy students. And as time has progressed I've decided that I really love career development. I love the process of watching students have those aha moments about where they may want their life to lead.  I love seeing them put together a portfolio they are proud of or get a job they are super interested in.  I love resumes and cover letters and editing.  I love interview workshops - the works, you get it.

So slowly but surely I've been testing the waters.  Editing more resumes, reaching out to people in career counseling, making connections - you know the usual professional schmoozing.  And its been good and interesting.  And today I non-chalantly took a look at some job postings, and there it was: an open career counselor position.  With an application deadline of TOMORROW.  Blargh.

So naturally I started the agonization process right then.  Do I apply?  Am I ready?  Am I qualified?  But I love this job that I have now and I've been here less than a year, but is this the job I'm going to love in 5 years?  What if I could make more money?  What if I get it and it's insanely overwhelming?  What if I fail?  What if I have to give a super long interview and presentation in 3 days and I'm not ready?  It's a scary place in my brain my friends...a scary scary place.

The agonizing continued, I discussed with SP who of course was annoyingly supportive (I love you babe), and then agonized some more.  And right now, this very minute (ok maybe 10 mins ago) I decided not to go for it.  And that's ok.

And here's why.

Sometimes it's ok to settle in and enjoy it. 

I'm not giving up my dreams and I do think that career counseling is in my future.  But not right now.  Of course the experience would be great.  And yes we just bought a new house and more money would be great etc etc.  There are a thousand reasons that it would be a good thing.  

But right now, in this moment, being who I am right at this unique time, there are a thousand and one reasons why it's not the right time.  I'm loving my easy, comfortable schedule.  I love my coworkers who support me and encourage me and make me laugh.  I adore my students who make me laugh and make me proud.  I came from an insanely stressful job where I was alone and I had forgotten that it could feel so good at work and in life - that you could go home and not cry about your work day, that you could actually enjoy your work, and do things OUTSIDE of work (WHAT?!!!...crazy I know)  And I'm just not ready to give that up right now.  

I love the possibilities of career counseling, and supporting my family is important, but enjoying my life and enjoying my family is more important right now.  I want to spend a few more years not being overwhelmed, not striving for something more.  The thing "they" (oh the all powerful they) forget to tell you most of the time is that you DON'T have to climb the ladder all the time.  You can stop on your rung and enjoy it, you can decorate that rung, you can paint it, for the love of God you can jump off the freakin ladder if you want.  

So I choose now.  I choose me.  I choose SP.  I choose free weekends and stress free nights. I choose learning in a supportive environment.  I choose less striving and more fulfilling.  I choose feeding my soul instead of my bank account and my resume.

Isn't life a gorgeous journey?  

I love sitting here in this spot...right here, right now...with you!

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And now because you read through all this, a pictorial sneak peak - next time...All this good stuff:

Borrowed Baby!  Baby Niece-y poo!

Surprise birthday and a home made saw pinata 

The NEW HOUSE (eeek!!!)

Easter!