Wonderful Wednesday - The Thanksgiving Eve Edition

If you missed the first posts of this series, created by Amanda over at Little Monsters & Mommies, it is pretty simple - Post something wonderful from your world every Wednesday. Because the world could always use more wonderful!

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Important First Note: I feel I could not possibly go another minute without acknowledging that I am completely broken and horrified by what happened in Ferguson this week. I am broken for that family who has lost their child, I am tragically sad that another life has been ended and I'm almost inconsolable about the amount of hate and despicable, ignorant things that have been swirling around the internet. As a privileged white woman I feel it is my important responsibility to not let it pass by without being acknowledged - and I'm disappointed that I haven't heard MORE privileged white voices stand up against these atrocities.  Why is it that only my social worker and student affairs friends are willing to say something? All of us should be talking about our broken judicial system and the constant injustice that people of color face in this country every day simply because they are people of color.  It isn't about taking sides, its about racism and the fact that it continues to pervade our society in disgusting and tragic ways. A friend from college said it far more eloquently than I ever could, "For me, the choice to say Black Lives Matter emphasizes the racial inequality shown in Ferguson and other recent verdicts, a bias that constantly threatens the lives of black people in our country. I don't doubt that most of us believe all lives matter, but that the way that plays out for me as a white person and my daily safety, protection by the legal system, etc. is very different than for many people of color. That is why I choose the label that I did." -Genie Bettencourt  #BlackLivesMatter 

And now for a little Wonderful, on a week when we could all use a little bit more... 

I'm typically a fan of the Thanksgiving in general.  A day dedicated to eating lots of yummy things and recognizing and acknowledging all that we have in this life is a day that I can really get behind.  And this year I'm feeling extra thanky.  

So in no particular order some of the many things filling my heart this Thanksgiving eve:

• A beautiful home that shelters my family.  A home that we are privileged enough to own!
• Lucrative jobs that provide more than we need.  The luxury of not having to live pay check to pay check.
• A healthy work environment where I feel supported and have found real friendships.
• Amazing family who love and love and love!
• My crazy furbaby who challenges me and loves me unconditionally.
• Coffee. Amen.
• Netflix binges
• Christmas songs
• A healthy body that keeps me going and allows me to enjoy this beautiful life.
• Bloggy friends who lift me up and make me laugh and teach me.
• Mommy friends who have walked this path before me and gently guide and suggest and encourage.
• Books and the other worlds they take me to.
• The opportunity to have an education.
• A voice and the ability to speak up for those who don't have the same privileges.
• A small cast of close friends who have seen me through every up and down and love me anyways.
• A beautiful spunky wife who has only made me better.  Who loves me and laughs with me and is truly my best friend.  And who is working hard to make my dreams come true.

And finally for:

• My dream incarnate - 30 weeks today!

Bump Watch 2014 - This is actually 29wks.

My baby with my baby!

I'm so in trouble for this one ;)

Happy Thanksgiving my friends!  I love you all!

Wonderful Wednesday: A Horrible Kind Of TWW

If you missed the first posts of this series, created by Amanda over at Little Monsters & Mommies, it is pretty simple - Post something wonderful from your world every Wednesday. Because the world could always use more wonderful!

Let me start this story by ruining the ending.  It's a good one.  I just want you to know that ahead of time because if I was reading this on someone else's blog and they didn't lead with that I would sh*t an internet brick...And with that...

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Those of you familiar the with the trying to conceive world are familiar with the TWW acronym. For those of you so luckily on the outside let me explain.  Typically TWW stands for Two Week Wait and is the time you are waiting between insemination (of some variety) and when you can take a pregnancy test to see if it all worked.

This TWW however was a different variety - of the heart attack inducing type.

Around 19 weeks we went in for our anatomy scan-the one where traditionally people find out the sex (we are not those people but more on that later) and they check to make sure the baby is developing appropriately etc.

So we sat through a very long scan with a very unfriendly sonographer who told us she couldn't tell us anything while she was measuring but she would show us the baby afterwards.  We sat in literal silence throughout the whole thing while I gave SP sympathetic eyes in hopes that her bladder wouldn't actually burst right there and then (it didn't, for the record)

We left the exam feeling fine, everything looked babylike and we had a follow up in a couple of days with out doctor.

And then we got a call from the genetics counselor.  Let me tell you something...you never want to hear "I'm the genetics counselor" in someone's intro, it just doesn't feel good.  They told us that while the ultrasound looked normal the baby had a small cyst on its brain (which can be part of normal brain development) and that one of the blood tests was not low enough risk and the combo of these things meant maybe the baby had Trisomy 18.  (Ps my heart has stopped now) We are then informed that our options are to do nothing and see if the baby is ok or do an amniocentesis which does carry some risk of miscarrying.

Can we all say Oh hello Panic my old friend?!

Just for your reference Trisomy 18 is fatal.  People don't survive it.  In fact most infants with Trisomy 18 only live days or hours. (Thanks Dr. Google for all the SCARY @$$ INFORMATION!)

So we decide to go to the follow up and talk to the doctor because now we are paralyzed by fear and tears.  Luckily I am a firm believer in science (and simultaneously miracles)...and for once in my life the stats seem to be in our favor.  But you know...somebody's got to be the 1 in a million.

Another genetics counselor calls again the next day (day before the doc).  We're pretty turned off to genetics counselors at this point, but this woman is like a genetics cheerleader...she couldn't be more positive and peppy... she had absolutely reached the pep limit.  She peppily informs us that there is one other option besides waiting or sticking a ginormous needle into SP's body - we can do a higher level blood test.  Wait what?!  You're telling me the other counselor just FORGOT that option?!  (cue blind rage!)

We go to the doctors office, she says get the blood test its great and really accurate.  She is super non-chalant (in a good way) and tells us this is just a bump and after this we will sail right along in this pregnancy.  I'm trying to believe her with every fiber of my being.

Right after the doctor we walk across the hall to the genetics counselor and peppy pepperton meets with us in person.  She is mini mouse in human form. In normal life I would find her annoying I think, but her insane sunshine is surprisingly making me feel better. I'm also pretty sure she's telling us without actually saying the words that she really thinks we're in the clear (or maybe this is a self preservation method I'm employing?!)

Peppy tells us we can have the Harmony blood test done today.  And it is covered by our insurance (small miracles).  The only downside is the results take.2.weeks. Blargh.

SP has her blood drawn and we go home and try to pretend everything is fine and that the next 2 weeks won't be a living hell.  I find myself marking calendars and counting down dates very similarly to how I did during those initial trying to conceive TWW's.  

1 very painful week passes.  One of us is probably crying every night (at least we're trading off?) going through the what if's.

On day 12 (mid work day) SP sends me a text that says "can you talk now?"  I call her immediately thinking Peppy has already called her.  She tells me genetics left her a message and she is going to conference us all together while she calls back.  Proceed to hold breath.

Luckily it's peppy herself on the other line (I'm bizarrely happy it's her and not some...stranger...) and she proceeds to tell us it's good news.  The risk is super low that the baby has any genetic disorders.  I go blind and deaf and say a prayer of thanksgiving and wait for her to hang up the phone.

SP and I talk briefly.  We're both trying desperately not to cry because we have to go back to work (big hint...it's not working)

So moral of the story - this time we're not the 1 (well 98% certain we're not the 1) but it definitely got me thinking about how lucky we are.  Why are we not the 1 and somebody else is?  Life can be cruel and beautiful.  It's hard for me to understand why we are lucky enough to have a healthy baby on the way, when so many others aren't so lucky.  

Regardless of the why I'm grateful. And probably even more grateful now that I'm not taking the normal healthy for granted. Making babies is still a hard and brutal thing, even in this day and age. And we're so lucky (and grateful grateful grateful) to be a part of it!

And for reading all of that you get this:

Dippity Dot @ 24wks.  Isn't my wife beautiful?!

P.S. Babymoon updates to come SOON!

Wonderful Wednesday Vol 2.

I know I know...I'm officially the worst at days...put me back in pre-school asap!

Wonderful Wednesday Series

We NEED more positive in this world. It does not have to be elaborate, though that is always welcome, and can be a simple picture or a short few sentences of something, someone, anything, that you think is wonderful. If you feel inclined to do the same

I've never been one of those people who has a LOT of friends.  I'm mean I'm friendly don't get me wrong (friendly to a fault sometimes).  But true, good, deep friends - there have always just been a handful.

Someone told me once that you pick up one or two really great friends from each stage in your life - and I would say in my experience that's true.  And some of those people have to go after that stage is over for various reasons, but a few they're in it for the long haul.

So what I'm trying to say is I'm lucky enough to have a few of those. 2 of them (sisters) I've known for literally 20 years.  And there's something to that I have to say.  Because that in and of itself is a lifetime.  A lot happens in 20 years. These women have seen ups and down and every bit of the roller coaster in between - and against all odds they still love me.

The 3 of us haven't been in the same place at the same time in quite awhile (10yrs?!) but it doesn't matter, because we're sort of always there. It is hard though when these long held friendships, the witnesses to your life are far away.  Especially because I find it harder to make these deep and lasting friendships as time passes...but that's another musing for another day.

But to help bridge the gap one of these ladies proposed (forced?) a google hangout book club.  So now once a week (give or take) we "get together" and drink wine and talk about the book we are reading, or don't talk about it and instead talk about life.  But it doesn't matter what we talk about or don't talk about because we're in the same "place" at the same "time" and it makes the missing them just a little better.

Some of the not discussing the book portion...also I'm sure I'm in big trouble for posting this (Sorry not sorry!)

Isn't technology amazing? I'm so grateful that we have this wonderful gift to help us stay connected.  But mostly I'm grateful for my wonderful sisters - it would have been a sad 20yrs without you!  Here's to 20 more!

Happy Wonderful Wednesday my friends, near and far, old and new!

Wonderful Wednesday - the Thursday Edition! (Vol. 1)

My good bloggy friend over at Little Monsters and Mommies posted a challenge this week to put a little more good in the world.  And you all know I'm a big fan of that.  Granted I'm a day late...but I promise I'm not a dollar short!

Wonderful Wednesday Series

We NEED more positive in this world. It does not have to be elaborate, though that is always welcome, and can be a simple picture or a short few sentences of something, someone, anything, that you think is wonderful. If you feel inclined to do the same, be sure to leave a link to your Wonderful Wednesday in the comment section so others may enjoy it as well!

So here goes, Wonderful Wednesday (Thursday) Vol. 1

I was re-reading this post the other day and have been focusing on putting on my "perspectacles" lately.  And then today I came across this article on huff post and my perspectacles were attached directly to my heart this morning while I cried silently at my desk.  I cried because I feel so blessed, I cried because the world lost another brave and beautiful person much too soon, and I cried because sometimes I forget just how lucky I am - and that is its own kind of tragedy.

Nothing out of the ordinary has happened lately, but that's just it - the ordinary can be oh so wonderful too!

So in no particular order here's some wonderful as of late:

Learning to Jam with my mother in law.  And the living breathing reminder that grace has the capacity to heal all.

A growing babe.  And access to fantastic healthcare and doctors who work hard to keep us safe and give us the best information they can.

And fake baby bumps

A chance to spend time with my parents and enjoy some sunshine before they went abroad for a few months.

 The visit may also have included a quick trip to the ALL christmas store!

The international sand castle competition was pretty sweet to say the least

Celebrating love and a chance to shake our groove thing at the last wedding of the season.

Patient fur babies, who wiggle with joy and lick all the tears away.

Anniversaries - our 2nd anniversary of our first wedding ;)  Celebrated with smores and a harry and david box from my parents.

A perfect homemade pear crostata (even I was impressed with myself for coming up with this one!)

And a holiday season that is rapidly approaching (its less than 18 now!)

And Rainbows that greet you on your drive to work!

Gratitude turns everything into enough.  In fact putting on your perspectacles makes everything more than enough!  

Life is wonderful! Thanks for adding to my wonderful-ness my friends!

XOXO
Sarah