Arrivederci 2017

Arrivederci 2017

2017 had a lot of darkness. But it had one brilliant bright spot. In June our sweet boy joined our family and we lit up and stretched and grew in so many ways. 

And while I wrote less than ever this year here is where we were in 2017:

January

I turned 31 and spent the day with my darling girl. I was past the 1st trimester and finally not feeling like death. I hit 20wks this month!

February 

Our little girl turned 2! And suddenly was an enormous full sized kid. She continues to light up our lives with her laughter and smiles.

March

We took a babymoon to Catalina and it was amazing! Just me and SP getting pampered and hanging out in the beautiful sunshine! I also went to a work conference and had dinner in bed like a real pregnant lady. I hit the 3rd trimester and got diagnosed with gestational diabetes.

April

Just got bigger and bigger! Had the first Easter that baby girl sort of understood.

May

Got really really big.  Kept waiting for baby to come...not so much

June

Made it all the way to 40wks.  Which almost never happens with gestational diabetes.  Was induced on my due date - long story short, this kid did NOT want to come out.  Induction lasted 3 days/nights and ended in a c-section. (Birth story still to come I swear!)  On the 12th at 10pm this kiddo finally joined our family.  After 5 days in the NICU we all made it home!

This is 40wks to the day, right before leaving to be induced!

July

Just darkness and sleep deprivation.

August

More sleep deprivation. We also go down south to visit the parentals.  Babes first time in the ocean! We make it to the 2 month mark!

September

It is insanely hot where we live.  We go stay in a hotel and it's the best stay-cation ever!

Laughed for the first time on 9/1/17!

October

SP goes on a weekend away with her mom.  I survive a full weekend alone with both kids!  

I also go back to work and live to tell the tale.  It's a rough transition but it's good to be back.  And luckily it's a pretty good transition.  

I'm finally coming out of some pretty intense postpartum anxiety (again, another story that is coming).  We celebrate LB (little Boy's) 1st Halloween.  LG (little girl) is super into it once she realizes people are going to give her candy. She asked to be a dragon this year.  It was amazing and we obliged!

November

5 mos with LB!  He is a smile monster!  He loves his sister.  He loves to eat and is a chunky monkey.  We celebrate thanksgiving.  I remember that Thanksgiving 2016 I was finishing up some really painful shots in my rear end.  LB is totally worth it!

December

I decide to do Blogmas - I think it's mostly a success (?!) LG is in love with Christmas!  We go to my parents and it's fabulous how excited LG is about everything Christmas related.  In fact even today she asked if she could see santa.  And we're full circle!

So that was the year.  Basically a big blur - especially the last 6 mos.  And a lot of it was really really hard.  But there were clearly some beautiful moments as well.  So 2018 what will you have in store, that is the question. I've been racking my brain to try to figure out what I want to focus on this coming year and I've come up with a couple of things:

1) Showing up.  Putting my body, mind, and soul where my mouth is.  Along with my dollars and votes of course.  I need to start really calling my representatives and putting myself in protests that I believe in.  I have work to do in being the best ally I can be. And in general I just have a lot to learn even when its scary or sad or hard.  So I think the first step is to just keep showing up and sitting in all the discomfort and fear.

2) Saying no.  I've gotten into a bad habit again where I'm falling into the busy trap.  And where I neglect myself to please others. Some of it is out of necessity (I have kids that have to be taken care of and my needs have to be put aside) and some of it is just a bad case of people pleasing and guilt.  It's ok to say no.  So no no nooooooo! 

3) Be Brave!  It's time to get back to being brave.  To remember that being brave means being vulnerable.  Means being recklessly kind. It means showing up and also sometimes saying no.  It means doing things even when it's hard. It means finding the pieces of myself that seem to be buried. And letting go of things that aren't serving me. It means letting go of perfection and fear and embracing joy and gratitude.  Because just being happy and grateful makes everything enough. 

Much love my friends!  I know 2017 was rough on many (all?) of us personally, politically, professionally etc...  But I think that in 2018 we are going to dig out the good. We're going to love the crap out of each other.  We are going to be our bravest best selves.  We're going to be the heroes of our own lives - and in doing that we're going to give the world exactly what it needs.  

And we're going to be so dang happy.

Be brave my loves, be brave!

I love you!

Blogmas Vol. 2

On the 2nd day of Blogmas my true love gave to me...

A THANKSGIVING REACAP!  

Because nothing says Christmas fun like going back in time?!? :/

We had a pretty jam packed Thanksgiving weekend this year. 

We spent Thanksgiving day watching the parade and snuggling and then eating amongst the chaos of 24 people at the In-Laws.  It was kids and adults and food and yelling and meltdowns and laughing and signing.  Basically all of your important holiday moments.

Cheesy Turkey ;)

Sweet Auntie

Serious discussion about fabulous family photos of yore

Gobble till you Wobble! (you know we did!)

The next day my (not so) baby bro came to town and we hung around the house and ate burritos for lunch (as one does on a major eating holiday?) We watched a terrible movie (Focus - sorry will smith...not so much) and then cooked Thanksgiving part 2. And it was a Thanksgiving miracle in that all of the food turned out delicious and we didn't set the smoke alarms off once! (unlike when my mom was visiting and we set them off twice...mmm...) And seeing as the only full turkey I've ever cooked was in a residence hall oven, the fact that this one was edible really was pretty miraculous.  We feasted on turkey and mashed potatoes and stuffing and green bean casserole.  And then we capped it off with brownies and ice cream...because pie isn't all it's cracked up to be ;)

 

Thanksgiving dinner complete with "fire"

The traditional self timer photo!

The following day we headed back to the inlaws for family photo palooza. 10 kids 10 adults 1 photographer 1 assistant and only a handful of meltdowns.  We followed that up with a birthday dinner for mother in law where we ate a lot and sang too loud.

 Photo out-takes

 

Birthday singing is very serious in this family (and sometimes rather loud...even in public!)

So recap:

Eating, eating, tv, eating, photos, eating eating eating...

In all cheesiness though it was a lovely holiday filled with all of my favorite things - food and family.  And this year I am feeling acutely aware of the abundance I am lucky to live with and in. I am safe. I am fed. I am clothed. I am warm. And on top of those most basic luxuries I also am loved. I am a MOTHER (WHAT THE WHAT???). I have an amazing partner in life. I have a family who loves me and makes me laugh. I have a stable job that I truly enjoy. I have access to health care and education. I have many things I have worked very hard for but I also have many things I was granted just by luck of the draw or by privilege and that has definitely not gone unnoticed. 

 

And on top of all of that I am thankful for you, dear friends, out there in the world, loving me and witnessing this life story of mine - thank you for letting me be part of your lives and for being part of my history as well!

 

XOXOXO

Be Brave! Be Generous!  

 

Happy Blogmas!

Wonderful Wednesday - The Thanksgiving Eve Edition

If you missed the first posts of this series, created by Amanda over at Little Monsters & Mommies, it is pretty simple - Post something wonderful from your world every Wednesday. Because the world could always use more wonderful!

***************************************************************************************

Important First Note: I feel I could not possibly go another minute without acknowledging that I am completely broken and horrified by what happened in Ferguson this week. I am broken for that family who has lost their child, I am tragically sad that another life has been ended and I'm almost inconsolable about the amount of hate and despicable, ignorant things that have been swirling around the internet. As a privileged white woman I feel it is my important responsibility to not let it pass by without being acknowledged - and I'm disappointed that I haven't heard MORE privileged white voices stand up against these atrocities.  Why is it that only my social worker and student affairs friends are willing to say something? All of us should be talking about our broken judicial system and the constant injustice that people of color face in this country every day simply because they are people of color.  It isn't about taking sides, its about racism and the fact that it continues to pervade our society in disgusting and tragic ways. A friend from college said it far more eloquently than I ever could, "For me, the choice to say Black Lives Matter emphasizes the racial inequality shown in Ferguson and other recent verdicts, a bias that constantly threatens the lives of black people in our country. I don't doubt that most of us believe all lives matter, but that the way that plays out for me as a white person and my daily safety, protection by the legal system, etc. is very different than for many people of color. That is why I choose the label that I did." -Genie Bettencourt  #BlackLivesMatter 

And now for a little Wonderful, on a week when we could all use a little bit more... 

I'm typically a fan of the Thanksgiving in general.  A day dedicated to eating lots of yummy things and recognizing and acknowledging all that we have in this life is a day that I can really get behind.  And this year I'm feeling extra thanky.  

So in no particular order some of the many things filling my heart this Thanksgiving eve:

• A beautiful home that shelters my family.  A home that we are privileged enough to own!
• Lucrative jobs that provide more than we need.  The luxury of not having to live pay check to pay check.
• A healthy work environment where I feel supported and have found real friendships.
• Amazing family who love and love and love!
• My crazy furbaby who challenges me and loves me unconditionally.
• Coffee. Amen.
• Netflix binges
• Christmas songs
• A healthy body that keeps me going and allows me to enjoy this beautiful life.
• Bloggy friends who lift me up and make me laugh and teach me.
• Mommy friends who have walked this path before me and gently guide and suggest and encourage.
• Books and the other worlds they take me to.
• The opportunity to have an education.
• A voice and the ability to speak up for those who don't have the same privileges.
• A small cast of close friends who have seen me through every up and down and love me anyways.
• A beautiful spunky wife who has only made me better.  Who loves me and laughs with me and is truly my best friend.  And who is working hard to make my dreams come true.

And finally for:

• My dream incarnate - 30 weeks today!

Bump Watch 2014 - This is actually 29wks.

My baby with my baby!

I'm so in trouble for this one ;)

Happy Thanksgiving my friends!  I love you all!

A Thanksgiving Small-iday (its like holiday, but smaller)

This year was a different sort of Thanksgiving for myself and SP.  But I am oh so thankful for the day.
 

Our smalliday this year happened for a myriad of reasons, including but not limited to, the fact that our dog is insane and we can't take her anywhere, SP's work schedule has been off the chain and we didn't even know if she was going to have Thanksgiving day off, my family is not close, SP's family was all split up this year etc etc etc.

So this year we stayed home and we did Thanksgiving on our own terms.  And while I did miss my family a lot (because that's what America's really about - getting fat with those you love...jk jk, I really love Thanksgiving I swear) it was a really really great day.

SP and I and one best friendsie face (along with 27,000 of our closest friends) signed up to do our local Run to Feed the Hungry, benefiting the local food bank.  It was crazy to the crazy town.  I've never done a more full run in my life.  There were parts of the race where it was hard to run because it was so so packed full of good samaritans running on gluttony day.  It was however the best people watching run ever.  People were all dressed up as pilgrims, native Americans and/or turkeys. And SP and I ran nearly the whole thing (ran being used loosely here) which is pretty good since my back monster has not been allowing me to do much of anything for the past 2 weeks and SP hasn't really been on the work out train the past...oh...6 months.  So it felt good to stretch our exercise muscles.

 DWEEBS trying not to freeze before the race

We MADE it!

After the race we laid around in our stretchy pants, watched the taped Macy's day parade, and read the newspaper all well snacking on hot spinach dip, cheese, salami, crackers etc etc.  It was delicious and relaxing.

Pre-Thanksgiving Feast!  YUM

Around 3 we ate our "turkey"  Turkey being used loosely here as well.  Because while it may have started out as a turkey breast it ended its life as part turkey breast and part turkey jerky.  It was a freezer to oven turkey which I was very skeptical of from the start but I figured why not, there's only 3 of us, and none of us are all that picky (or all that in love with turkey)  It wasn't bad.  But it definitely wasn't the best turkey I've ever eaten.  I think it may have been more operator error however...and a crappy 1960s oven.  Alas, it was a feast and delicious in every way.

There were friends, food, and a special showing of ELF (Christmas is coming my friends, and this year I'm going to epically celebrate it to death!)  I literally never got out of my stretchy pants.  There was no dressing up, no fancy time, and nothing particularly traditional about it.  And it was perfect. 

Food coma ELF showing

Bestie made this from SCRATCH.  YUM!

I'd like to think I'm a pretty grateful person on a regular basis - I recognize that I'm incredibly lucky.  But yesterday my heart grew 2 more sizes.  This life, we're so lucky for it.  I'm so grateful I get the honor of experiencing this world, in this mortal body, with these special souls around me. 

Don't forget these feelings my friends.  That gratitude needs to live on every day.  I hope we can carry this kindness into the year, this love we feel for each other and for ourselves and all that we've been given.

I'm grateful for you!  Be kind of one another - we all deserve a little more kindness.

Besos, Sarah