2017 had a lot of darkness. But it had one brilliant bright spot. In June our sweet boy joined our family and we lit up and stretched and grew in so many ways.
And while I wrote less than ever this year here is where we were in 2017:
I turned 31 and spent the day with my darling girl. I was past the 1st trimester and finally not feeling like death. I hit 20wks this month!
Our little girl turned 2! And suddenly was an enormous full sized kid. She continues to light up our lives with her laughter and smiles.
We took a babymoon to Catalina and it was amazing! Just me and SP getting pampered and hanging out in the beautiful sunshine! I also went to a work conference and had dinner in bed like a real pregnant lady. I hit the 3rd trimester and got diagnosed with gestational diabetes.
Just got bigger and bigger! Had the first Easter that baby girl sort of understood.
Got really really big. Kept waiting for baby to come...not so much
Made it all the way to 40wks. Which almost never happens with gestational diabetes. Was induced on my due date - long story short, this kid did NOT want to come out. Induction lasted 3 days/nights and ended in a c-section. (Birth story still to come I swear!) On the 12th at 10pm this kiddo finally joined our family. After 5 days in the NICU we all made it home!
|This is 40wks to the day, right before leaving to be induced!|
Just darkness and sleep deprivation.
More sleep deprivation. We also go down south to visit the parentals. Babes first time in the ocean! We make it to the 2 month mark!
It is insanely hot where we live. We go stay in a hotel and it's the best stay-cation ever!
|Laughed for the first time on 9/1/17!|
SP goes on a weekend away with her mom. I survive a full weekend alone with both kids!
I also go back to work and live to tell the tale. It's a rough transition but it's good to be back. And luckily it's a pretty good transition.
I'm finally coming out of some pretty intense postpartum anxiety (again, another story that is coming). We celebrate LB (little Boy's) 1st Halloween. LG (little girl) is super into it once she realizes people are going to give her candy. She asked to be a dragon this year. It was amazing and we obliged!
5 mos with LB! He is a smile monster! He loves his sister. He loves to eat and is a chunky monkey. We celebrate thanksgiving. I remember that Thanksgiving 2016 I was finishing up some really painful shots in my rear end. LB is totally worth it!
I decide to do Blogmas - I think it's mostly a success (?!) LG is in love with Christmas! We go to my parents and it's fabulous how excited LG is about everything Christmas related. In fact even today she asked if she could see santa. And we're full circle!
So that was the year. Basically a big blur - especially the last 6 mos. And a lot of it was really really hard. But there were clearly some beautiful moments as well. So 2018 what will you have in store, that is the question. I've been racking my brain to try to figure out what I want to focus on this coming year and I've come up with a couple of things:
1) Showing up. Putting my body, mind, and soul where my mouth is. Along with my dollars and votes of course. I need to start really calling my representatives and putting myself in protests that I believe in. I have work to do in being the best ally I can be. And in general I just have a lot to learn even when its scary or sad or hard. So I think the first step is to just keep showing up and sitting in all the discomfort and fear.
2) Saying no. I've gotten into a bad habit again where I'm falling into the busy trap. And where I neglect myself to please others. Some of it is out of necessity (I have kids that have to be taken care of and my needs have to be put aside) and some of it is just a bad case of people pleasing and guilt. It's ok to say no. So no no nooooooo!
3) Be Brave! It's time to get back to being brave. To remember that being brave means being vulnerable. Means being recklessly kind. It means showing up and also sometimes saying no. It means doing things even when it's hard. It means finding the pieces of myself that seem to be buried. And letting go of things that aren't serving me. It means letting go of perfection and fear and embracing joy and gratitude. Because just being happy and grateful makes everything enough.
Much love my friends! I know 2017 was rough on many (all?) of us personally, politically, professionally etc... But I think that in 2018 we are going to dig out the good. We're going to love the crap out of each other. We are going to be our bravest best selves. We're going to be the heroes of our own lives - and in doing that we're going to give the world exactly what it needs.
And we're going to be so dang happy.
Be brave my loves, be brave!
I love you!