Mom guilt is so real life ya'll. And I feel like when we added little boy to the party it only amplified. I mean everything amplified because I had a serious case of Postpartum Anxiety (another story for another time). But now that the proverbial dust has settled the mommy guilt has also settled in hard core.
I love spending time with my kids. But sometimes they make me crazy. And sometimes I have less than stellar parenting moments because of it. And then when I get a short break from them I feel bad for leaving them with others. Or I feel bad for spending any time on myself. Because there is ALWAYS something else that could be getting done. Laundry, meal prep, cleaning. ANd for somebody who is pretty self proclaimed type A - the chaos is pretty rough on top of all the guilty feelings.
And then there is the whole working parent thing. And/or 2 working parent things. And what that means societally, personally etc. I personally really enjoy my job and I really enjoy spending time with adults. But I also really miss my kids. But when I'm home with them alone several days in a row I can't WAIT to get back to work where I get to pee by myself and use my brain in a very different way. And then I feel bad about that.
I don't know where I'm going with all of this except to say that you mommies and daddies and babas etc out there who are feeling this crushing sense of "I can never give enough in any area of my life" I see you, I feel you, I'm living it. And/or if any of you out there have any strategies for minimizing the guilt - I'd love to hear them.
Because look at these beautiful faces...
...they deserve my best me, and I'm pretty sure the me that feels guilty all the time isn't my best.
Be Brave!
Listen, the best parenting advice I have ever received is this: If it is hard, you are doing it right.
ReplyDeleteMama guilt is for real. It happens. To the best of us. No one can possibly pull of being everything at once. Especially in this day and age. Nope. No way. We have found that some designated one on one time with a parent once a week does wonders. It does not have to be major. Just THEIR time. Hang in there, Mama, you are doing good!
I don't have any advice for you friend, but I can tell you that I too have felt this way, many, many times. I guess I've just found a way to be ok with living with the guilt, but it took time to get to that place. I know that people often say that you shouldn't live for the weekends, but screw that (and whomever started that saying was not a working parent). We LIVE for the weekends because it's the only long stretches of time we have with the kids and when it's just me, without Georgia - it's SOOOOO much harder. For now and until we win the lottery, we maximize the few hours we have together at night during the week, making sure to have family dinners, to share our daily highs and lows, fun bath time (when Gracie isn't in one of her super sassy moods), watch a show together or reading as a family and just try and connect. We then spend every waking moment as a foursome on the weekends. That's all us working parents can do, and you know what - that just has to be enough. *hugs
ReplyDeleteP.S. this comment may make it sound like I have this work/parenting balance thing all figured out, but just so you know, I was just crying about this very thing, for the first time in a long time while on the way to work like a week ago... #thestruggleisreal #momlife