10 x 3

Today is my 30th birthday.

3 decades of riding around on this planet. 10,950 days of waking up in this beautiful world.

Birthday Girl and my AMAZING CAKE!

I know many of you are thinking...you're a baby.  And many of you are thinking...OLD LADY. Me?  I'm thinking...lucky me!  I have had the joy and privilege of making it this far!

I have to say... this little life of mine thus far has been quite the grand adventure. I have been extremely privileged to travel and experience and see and do so many things. 

Party Animals!

Turning 30 does make me think though.

It does remind me that time is passing. And that I need to spend as much time as I have left making it count. I still desperately want to leave my mark on this world in my own small ways. I still have dreams and want to make them real. I want to see as much of this gorgeous planet as I possibly can. I want to learn more, be kinder, be more generous, grow grow grow - because what else are we here for?

One of my friends once said something along the lines that our job here on earth is to gently and with kindness love those around us into their best selves. And I couldn't agree more.  And in the process won't we also love ourselves into our best selves?

Today also happens to be, for many Christian religions - The Epiphany.  It marks the end of the 12 days of Christmas and is a celebration of the Magi's visit to the Christ child. The 3 wise men found this child by following a Star across a desert.

I've always liked that my birthday fell on this holy day. I know in historical reality it all likely happened in March and who knows what actually happened.  But the celebration of following the light...that is something I can most definitely get behind.

I think that is what I've realized after 3 X 10. I AM here for a very important reason. And having this baby girl in my life has brought this privilege and work right out into the bright light. We really do have much work to do. And 30 year old Sarah is ready for that kind of work. To make me, my best self - and hopefully love those around me with as much brilliance as I can manage - because when you light people up - their beauty and joy and gifts can't be hidden.  

So I've decided, 30 year old Sarah, she will be following the light - just like the wise men before her!  

Because who knows what's under that star...

XOXOX

Sarah

Be Brave!

 Scenes from Birthday Day!

30 looks pretty good on me if I do say so myself!

Goodbye Hello - On Being In It in 2016

Image Credit

Oh 2015...you were quite the epic year.

January 
I celebrated my 29th birthday (oh yes...that does in fact mean the big 3-0 is coming rapidly) and we prepped for Baby Girl.  And that's about all we did.

February

Baby Girl is BORN!  We find out she is in fact baby girl. We find out SP is a BEAST of a woman. My dream baby has finally made her way to me. I basically cry all the time.

March

No blogging in March.  Probably because I've never been so tired in my entire life. The first month of baby girl's life is a DOOZY. SP and I fight our way through it...but it is HARD!

April

We are finally starting to get our footing.  I take a few minutes and tell the story of the day I was reborn as a Mother. I also take some time to write my first love letter to baby girl.  We also talked AGAIN about how #lovecan'twait

May

Another lost month. Probably because SP goes back to work this month.  I spend a week off with my girl and then we transition her into day care. SP and I are still exhausted and still trying to figure out what in the world we're doing.

June

I talk about how we took baby girl to my parent's house when she was 6 weeks old (yay flying with a newborn!) And we also dressed baby girl up for the first time! Also MARRIAGE EQUALITY PASSES in the US!

July

Not so much with the writing still.  However I recap how in June we took baby girl across the country to celebrate the life of my grandmother. We talk about how baby girl started solids at just 4 months old. In June, we also celebrated one Best Friend's big 3-0. And another Best Friend comes from across the country to visit :)

August

I talk about how having a baby has sucked away all of my time and I no longer have any hobbies or any free time (what even is that?!) We also go to the Pear Fair which is basically the cutest thing ever!

September

Another letter to baby girl and basically that's all I can manage this month! We're fresh off a week with the grandparents though which was super nice!

October

Another lost month in terms of blogging. It was baby girl's first Halloween :) And Apple Orchard time! Yum! Sadly we lost SP's grandparents at the end of this month and Baby Girl went on her first looonnnggg roadtrip to Utah to say goodbye to her namesake and meet many many of her relatives.

November

Pictures from October! Including the Dread Pirate herself! And my parents come to visit again!  And we take Grandma to the Apple Orchards again!

December

In December I straight up lose my mind and decide to blog every day until Christmas. I write about everything from Thanksgiving to starting bootcamp to how much I love my SP!  I also wrote about our beautiful tree Harriet and our crazy dogo and another letter to baby girl.  I talked about how sometimes things are just stinkin hard. One of my most favorite blogmas blogs however was about being a non-belly mama and how treasured and real that role is. Another important one was about how we must help our suffering brothers and sisters fleeing in the middle east (you can still help!!!) And then it was Christmas! And what a beautiful day it was indeed! If nothing else it pushed me out of my writing rut!  

 

And here we are now - 2015 was an epic year. It was my mama-birth year as my beautiful girl barreled into this world and changed everything. And our hearts grew more than 3 sizes the day she came to us and they've been growing ever since - as has she. Learning to be a mama and how to love and care and grow with this little monster baby has consumed us completely. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

So 2016 - what are we going to do with you? That is the question. Sure I have a list of resolutions I could come up with. Many related to being healthy or changing my body. (The healthy has become even more important to me, I have to say, in hopes of being around as long as humanly possible for this little one who has stolen my heart.) I'm sure I could come up with plenty of goals about finances and cleanliness and organization. And in reality, many of those lists/details are floating around in my mind - things I'm sure I will think about as we progress through another trip around the sun.

 

But overall I want only one thing this coming year - one big hope for myself:

To be Present. 

 

I just want to not miss it, you know? This precious time I have on this planet. These sacred moments as I watch my girl grow and the time I get to spend with the love of my life. I want to see it all and know it all and be in it all. I want to stop getting stuck in the crappy little details of each day and I want nothing to do with the busy trap that keeps taking hold. I want to spend all the time I'm wasting worrying about stupid, insignificant things on much more important things like trips to the park, and baby smiles, and hugs from my wife. Because I'm pretty sure at the end of the day, at the end of my life - those are the things I'm going to remember. And if this past year is any indication of how sweepingly quickly the time really does go - then I've got to dig my heels in and do everything in my power to slow it down and not blink and not miss any perfect moment. Don't get me wrong - I know there will be bad days, or bad moments - but I just don't want to miss any of it. I don't want to be lost in my own panicked mind when I could be right here - living it all!

 

So here we are - 2016, you have some mighty shoes to fill!

 

And to you, my friends, out there in the interwebs and the world - I wish you love and light and hope! Happy New Year and Happy New You!

 

Be Brave! 

 

I Love You!

-Sarah

Blogmas Vol 25 - Merry Blogmas - The End!

Well my friends, the Blogmas project has come to end! 

A few observations:

1) I finished!
2) It definitely made me push myself outside of my comfort zone!
3) I don't think I need to blog this frequently maybe ever again ;)

Our Christmas day was lovely - more to come about Baby Girl's first Christmas soon - but first...a little blogging break!  I'm planning to spend the rest of my time napping, eating burritos and walking on the beach!

Happy Christmas my friends! From my little family to yours! WE LOVE YOU! Be Brave!

 

Blogmas Vol. 24

What a difference a year makes!

This time last year my family was up north and we were sitting around in our little house, celebrating Christmas and waiting for a long anticipated child.  She, like a little child many years ago, was much anticipated and waited for.  And who we knew would change our world.

And has she ever!

We may be a little more ragged and a little more worse for the wear some days - but Baby Girl has wrapped us up in her. She is joy and wonder and light and we truly are forever changed.

So tonight, while I write, from the comfort of a warm bed, I think of another mother - my homegirl Mary. She is the constant from all of my catholic upbringing. She is the Auntie I pray to when I can't sleep. And now she is the model of true hero - scared and vulnerable and given wholly unto a child. And somehow, I understand a little more what that means. To give yourself over to someone so small. To stand vulnerably in front of this person, this spirit you are supposed to mold and guide - who all along, you suspect is likely molding and guiding you more than you are her. 

I can't imagine what it must have been like for mother Mary back then - talk about pressure! Because in relative comfort and safety I feel the pressure of bringing up this child in front of me in this big scary world we live in now.  I worry about this world I've brought her into. How I can teach her to be kind and loving. How she, in her own small ways, can change this world we live in for the better. How I can help her to see, she too, can be the light.

And when it all seems like too much - this great responsibility - I hum the lyrics to my favorite Christmas song "Breath of Heaven" and think of Warrior Mary out there in the darkness - bringing us great light!


Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one one should have had my place
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of your plan

 

Merry Christmas Eve my friends - especially to my fellow Warrior Mamas out there, who come in every shape and size and situation - you bring the light!

Blogmas Vol. 23

Christmas Eve Eve!

It is almost time to blow this Popsicle stand and migrate south to the parents house.  It is an 8 hour drive (if you don't stop a lot) so we are doing 4 hours tonight and 4 hours tomorrow morning

And we're taking the dog and the baby.

Pray for me friends...seriously.

I'm so incredibly excited to get out of town, hang out near the beach and eat lots of good food.  And to decorate cut out cookies - a family tradition.  And to let Baby Girl get some good quality grandparent/uncle time.

And my parents have a hot tub...so there's that.

In true parental murphy's law fashion - baby girl slept about 0 hours last night. Which means me and SP are trashed. So our drive tonight should be extra fun. Especially because I'm still getting over the plague and SP seems to be getting it (I'm in denial...though I swear she's NOT going to really get it)  Why does this always happen?!  I mean really universe - I just want one holiday season where I feel on top of things and ahead of the game and I'm not sick... I guess it just ain't going to happen. At least not this year.

At least I know when we get to my parents, there will be plenty of babysitters so I could possibly NAP (WHATTTTT EVEN IS THAT?!)

Hope you are all well and enjoying some time off with those you love!  

Merry Blogmas to all my favorite fools!

Blogmas Vol. 22 - Let There Be LIGHT

If you only read one of my blog posts, I hope it's this one...

http://thecompassioncollective.org/

Oh my friends.  It is that time of year when the darkness sets in.  When my gorgeous sun sets at 3:30pm. In fact it is the darkest day of the year.  When all I want to do is hibernate and snuggle up and be warm. And it has been raining here, just to add to the darkness. So also all I want is to be dry.

And the lucky thing is - I get to do that. I get to wear warm clothes every day. I get to go home (and immediately rip off  my pants) and snuggle up with my loved ones. I get to be safe and warm and dry. And not worry about where my next meal is coming from and whether or not I'm safe at the moment. I get to snuggle my sweet wife and my adorable baby and know that we are more than ok.

And yet, right now, in this very moment, on the other side of the world, there are babies being pulled out of a dark, frigid ocean. There are mamas carrying their babies thousands and thousands of miles to escape certain death. They are starving, and freezing, and their bodies are literally rotting from the rain. They are living in a continual state of darkness - figuratively and literally.

And the thing is, all of us, sitting here in our cushy situations (and they are cushy in comparison regardless of how much you are struggling right now) we can do more. In what we all like to refer to as the season of giving - we have more to give to these people who are only hoping to be safe, and dry, and fed.  And we are the ones who can do it. We can light up the dark!!! We can buy one less gift or one less coffee and instead give someone a pair of socks, or a coat, or a warm meal.

Because if you call yourself a Christian, I'm pretty sure there are some specific instructions on this type of thing. And if you call yourself a decent human being - there are also some pretty easy tenants to be followed in this scenario.

http://thecompassioncollective.org/

100% of donations go directly to refugee humanitarian aid. There is NO overhead! That means your $5 can buy even more baby socks.

Because this world is full of darkness - but we can LIGHT IT UP!

You can read more about this project here: http://momastery.com/blog/ 

I dare you not to cry!

Merry Blogmas!

Blogmas Vol. 21

It's 9pm, do you know where your bed is?!

Honestly friends, I'm ready for blogmas to be over now. Because I am LE TIRED. And like let's be honest am I really this interesting...I think not!

So, in honor of my exhaustion, and the fact that the sun set at 3:20FREAKIN PM today is a cop out blog:

What I liked about today - the ExhaustedIHaveToWriteAboutSomethingEdition

• Bacon. For dinner. Because it was a cop out dinner today as well.
• Being back at work! Not the work part but the fact that I finally felt well enough to leave my house. I only hacked up part of my lung today. I also didn't take any cold medication today!
• A daycare provider who sends you home with baked goods!
• Super awesome coworkers who get you a graphic novel version of one what is probably your all time favorite book! Madeline L'Engle what what!

So.Much.Yay!

• Amazon customer service. Immediate phone connection with the click of a button. I.Am.A.Fan (not sure she actually fixed anything...but take what you can get)
• A new Christmas CD! Oh yes I did! Sing to me Kelly Clarkson
• Christmas Tree Smell
• Modern amenities - a working heater, hot water, lights etc
• Makeup - to cover all manner of exhaustion and sickness on yo face
• And last but not least, a cute little girl who has become obsessed with blowing raspberries!

 

Gratuitous pic of my kid...because...obviously

So that's what's up today my friends!  Hope you all are well!

Merry Blogmas (?)!