Thursday, February 23, 2012

No pictures just me.

You know what's the best?

When people ask you how you're doing and you answer Great!  And you really mean it.  When that smile bubbles up on your face and you realize how really great you are.  When you feel that lightness in your chest, like things are trucking and you are loving life and laughing and happy. 

My life is SO wonderful lately.  For no particular reason really.  We didn't win the lottery.  We're not going on a big trip, buying something new, doing something out of the ordinary.  But the routine has a beauty in and of it self.  I am reveling in the beauty of the everyday.  And it sounds sappy and mushy and blegh.  and it is.  And I LOVE IT.  So pshhhh.

Sure there are stresses and hard things and some days I'm lying when I answer "Great!" but the majority of the days, the greats are the real thing.  They are the true joy of this life.

I have been working on myself.  It is the "year of Sarah"  Putting myself first and recognizing that in doing so I am better at everything else.  I am a better partner, a better employee, a better friend, a better...person.  And one giant goal for 2012 is to love on purpose.  To be present in every day in every moment in every hope and triumph and dream.  I am loving today on purpose.  I am loving myself on purpose.  I am even loving the person who cut me off on the freeway this morning on purpose ;)  I am recognizing that loving on purpose does not require perfection.  Life doesn't have to be perfect to be loved.  My friends and family do not have to be perfect to be loved and adored.  I do not have to be perfect to be loved.

Working to bring myself ever present, ever hopeful, ever is life changing (sappy mc sap sap I know)  I can feel the movement in myself.  The shift in my mind.  The change in myself.  To smile more.  To love more.   To worry less.  To give the benefit of the doubt.  A lot.  To expect the best - not naively, but in a way that removes cynicism.  I used to be this way more I think.  I used to have a lightness inside me that burned on high and somewhere along the way I lost a little piece of that.  I let the world convince me that people are not good, that life is hard, that things don't work out in the end.  And I know that sometimes these are truths.  But pivotal to being me is being optimistic.  It's expecting the best, even when faced with the certainty that the worst is coming.  Because I know in the deepest crevices of me, that this is the way I will make my mark. 

Bringing someone in this life just a little bit more happiness will be my truest measure of success.  Leaving every situation just a little bit better than I found it.  That will be how I'll know I did it right.

If you want to be happy, be.   – Leo Tolstoy

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