|Light Up the Dark! 2014 Christmas Eve Candles|
Focusing on one thing in 2014, Being Brave, was surprisingly challenging. Its easy to make lists of resolutions and even easier to let them fall by the wayside - but focusing on one goal and trying to apply that attribute to all aspects of my life, I personally found extremely challenging. And very changing - in a good way! If nothing else, it made me more present to my world and very importantly, my reactions and connections to people and situations. Holding back out of fear can be a survival tactic - but it can also be a crutch, one I know I was relying on too much. Learning to dive in and take some risks at my (relatively) young age has been one of the more important life lessons I've learned so far. Focusing on Being Brave has opened up room for development in other areas as well - because I understand how utterly terrifying it can be to Be Brave I think I've become more empathetic, more patient, more understanding.
Focusing on Being Brave really grounded me back in myself. I used to be known as as the "nice one" (I even won an award for being most smiley once) I was always ready to jump in and help and (I would like to think) I was a good listener and a generally kind person. I got burned a few times which caused this introvert to put up some really huge walls and it also turned me into a more selfish, cynical, and hardened version of myself. A version I really wasn't digging. Being brave pulled me out of a lot of that (still a work in progress) It reminded me to be courageous enough to be more vulnerable. This blog has provided me a platform to really test my bravery and vulnerability - putting it allllll out there in the interwebs for everybody to see and judge. For that, and the soul bolstering it has provided, I will be forever grateful.
So this coming year I've decided, in honor of Being Brave, to pick one thing to focus on. (Obviously I plan to still work on Being Brave because I'm pretty sure that's the work of a lifetime...) All of the empathy that blurbled up to the surface from this braveness led me to really consider what impact I'm having on those around me. And I asked myself a few hard questions - Am I actively contributing to making others' lives better? Am I becoming trapped in the scarcity complex (there isn't enough for everybody mindset)? Would I want to be friends with me? Am I leaving things better than when I arrived? You get the idea.
And after some soul searching I realized that 2015 is the year I need to focus on Being Generous. Generosity is such an all encompassing idea and can really be applied everywhere. I think I need to focus on Generosity towards myself as much as I need to focus on Generosity of spirit, time, talents etc. Before I was afraid I had nothing of worth to give. But Being Brave has shown me that's 100% not true. I have a lot to offer myself and those around me and my little corner of the world. And holding it back out of fear or laziness is no way to live.
I think Generous people are kind, they are strong. They understand when to give and when to hold back - because they are gentle with themselves as well. This is a sometimes crushing world we live in, and a little bit more giving of ourselves can only make things better. And disciplining myself to think generously will only make me better - me first is not the person I want to be and its definitely not the type of parent I want to be or the type of child I want to raise. (Raising a child...eek...I'm going to need all of that learned Bravery!)
So there's that my friends. Let's be Generous in 2015!
And now in technicolor - THE 2014 RECAP!
I wrote about the blog craft exchange and my fantastic friend Amanda from Little Monsters and Mommies who gave me the perfect Christmas ornaments full of baby JuJu (THEY WORKED! And they are on the tree this year Amanda don't you worry! And they will be every year!) I also wrote about how being Gay and Catholic don't mix and how I desperately miss the spiritual home I once had (more to come on this topic in 2015)
I wrote about how surrendering is one of the Bravest things you can do! I visited my soul sister in Denver. And I wrote you all a LOVE letter! (The vulnerability was in full tilt this month!)
We bought a house! And nobody was pregnant :( It was a bit of a rough time.
The lost month. Moving and prepping for baby making...again.
I talk about getting out of the rat race and enjoying your best life. I said a few more words about our home, our castle! I also wrote a post for all the childless mothers out there (little did I know that our dippitydot would be conceived THE NEXT DAY!) This is still one of my favorite posts of all time.
I talked about marrying a(n) (ex)Mormon and started a summer bucket list! My first summer of freedom and we lived it up!
In July I wrote some dribble drabble posts about my summer bucket list while trying to keep my mouth shut until we could announce THE BEST NEWS! And then you all made me cry! And my heart just nearly exploded! And I got to catch you all up a bit :)
We went camping! And I told you some more about dippitydot! SP spent most of this month really really nauseated. Yay Sea bands!
My SBL goes kaput while SP tries to bake our bun. Wonderful Wednesday starts (Thanks Amanda!) Imake jam and talk about some really great friends!
Big time scare, big time gratitude! We survive a scary dippitydot growing moment. SP reaches 25 weeks (more than halfway!) and we get to have some good fun!
I recap our really really fun Babymoon in Seattle. Will we ever be alone again?! And I count my blessingsbecause really...could I be anymore lucky?!
We start the month with a BABYSHOWER! Eek! It is filled with love and light and strong, beautiful women. (maybe we can do this?!) I tell you how crazy I am and then we have 2 more babyshower (geeze this little one is SO loved!) Some thoughts on Advent and the countdown to Dippitydot begins!
Aaaannnndddd we're full circle! It's been a life changing year my friends. SP predicted 2014 would be our year and I'd say she was right. The thing is...I'm pretty sure 2015 will be our year too!
Here's to making 2015 the most beautiful and Generous year yet!
Be Brave! Be Generous!
|Last Christmas Eve snuggles just the 2 of us!|