Sunday, December 31, 2017

Arrivederci 2017

Arrivederci 2017

2017 had a lot of darkness. But it had one brilliant bright spot. In June our sweet boy joined our family and we lit up and stretched and grew in so many ways. 

And while I wrote less than ever this year here is where we were in 2017:

I turned 31 and spent the day with my darling girl. I was past the 1st trimester and finally not feeling like death. I hit 20wks this month!

Our little girl turned 2! And suddenly was an enormous full sized kid. She continues to light up our lives with her laughter and smiles.

We took a babymoon to Catalina and it was amazing! Just me and SP getting pampered and hanging out in the beautiful sunshine! I also went to a work conference and had dinner in bed like a real pregnant lady. I hit the 3rd trimester and got diagnosed with gestational diabetes.

Just got bigger and bigger! Had the first Easter that baby girl sort of understood.

Got really really big.  Kept waiting for baby to come...not so much

Made it all the way to 40wks.  Which almost never happens with gestational diabetes.  Was induced on my due date - long story short, this kid did NOT want to come out.  Induction lasted 3 days/nights and ended in a c-section. (Birth story still to come I swear!)  On the 12th at 10pm this kiddo finally joined our family.  After 5 days in the NICU we all made it home!

This is 40wks to the day, right before leaving to be induced!

Just darkness and sleep deprivation.

More sleep deprivation. We also go down south to visit the parentals.  Babes first time in the ocean! We make it to the 2 month mark!

It is insanely hot where we live.  We go stay in a hotel and it's the best stay-cation ever!

Laughed for the first time on 9/1/17!

SP goes on a weekend away with her mom.  I survive a full weekend alone with both kids!  

I also go back to work and live to tell the tale.  It's a rough transition but it's good to be back.  And luckily it's a pretty good transition.  

I'm finally coming out of some pretty intense postpartum anxiety (again, another story that is coming).  We celebrate LB (little Boy's) 1st Halloween.  LG (little girl) is super into it once she realizes people are going to give her candy. She asked to be a dragon this year.  It was amazing and we obliged!

5 mos with LB!  He is a smile monster!  He loves his sister.  He loves to eat and is a chunky monkey.  We celebrate thanksgiving.  I remember that Thanksgiving 2016 I was finishing up some really painful shots in my rear end.  LB is totally worth it!

I decide to do Blogmas - I think it's mostly a success (?!) LG is in love with Christmas!  We go to my parents and it's fabulous how excited LG is about everything Christmas related.  In fact even today she asked if she could see santa.  And we're full circle!

So that was the year.  Basically a big blur - especially the last 6 mos.  And a lot of it was really really hard.  But there were clearly some beautiful moments as well.  So 2018 what will you have in store, that is the question. I've been racking my brain to try to figure out what I want to focus on this coming year and I've come up with a couple of things:

1) Showing up.  Putting my body, mind, and soul where my mouth is.  Along with my dollars and votes of course.  I need to start really calling my representatives and putting myself in protests that I believe in.  I have work to do in being the best ally I can be. And in general I just have a lot to learn even when its scary or sad or hard.  So I think the first step is to just keep showing up and sitting in all the discomfort and fear.

2) Saying no.  I've gotten into a bad habit again where I'm falling into the busy trap.  And where I neglect myself to please others. Some of it is out of necessity (I have kids that have to be taken care of and my needs have to be put aside) and some of it is just a bad case of people pleasing and guilt.  It's ok to say no.  So no no nooooooo! 

3) Be Brave!  It's time to get back to being brave.  To remember that being brave means being vulnerable.  Means being recklessly kind. It means showing up and also sometimes saying no.  It means doing things even when it's hard. It means finding the pieces of myself that seem to be buried. And letting go of things that aren't serving me. It means letting go of perfection and fear and embracing joy and gratitude.  Because just being happy and grateful makes everything enough. 

Much love my friends!  I know 2017 was rough on many (all?) of us personally, politically, professionally etc...  But I think that in 2018 we are going to dig out the good. We're going to love the crap out of each other.  We are going to be our bravest best selves.  We're going to be the heroes of our own lives - and in doing that we're going to give the world exactly what it needs.  

And we're going to be so dang happy.

Be brave my loves, be brave!

I love you!

Sunday, December 24, 2017

Blogmas 2017 - Vol. 24 (?)

In which I make no excuses 

Here's the thing - clearly I dropped the proverbial ball all over the place with blogmas this year. But at least it had its intended affect - I wrote things! Yay! 

The other thing is that I've just been too busy living the last couple of days to write. But here's the general run down.

Hang out with fam
Eat cookies
See Christmas lights
Eat cookies
Snuggle babies 
Eat cookies
Watch cookie shows
Eat cookies 
Wrap presents 
You get the idea...

It has been so nice to just sit in the sun and soak up some time with the kiddos and the parents and the brother/uncle.

And now we only have a few more days - so we will be spending it in a cookie induced coma I'm sure. 

And now a pictorial representation...

Merry Christmas Eve my friends! I hope you are spending it with folks you love - soaking up every minute!

Thursday, December 21, 2017

Blogmas 2017 - Vol.21

What I liked about today - the I'm tired blogmas edition

As the title says - I'm tired. So here, in no particular order, are some of the things I liked about today:

  • Grandkids getting loved on by awesome grandparents 
  • The joy my daughter gets from riding the smallest train in the history of mankind 
  • The fact that my mother and I did not get stuck in said train when riding with said daughter after having folded ourselves in half to fit
  • The fact that grandpa rescued the daughter from the so so scary carousel 
  • Sponge candy! Bought especially for me by the mama
  • That an old friend's mother said baby boy has my nose and profile :)
  • Hanging out with a fabulous old friend who gives the best hugs
  • The knowledge that SP comes tomorrow!
  • Whiskey and diet after the kids are in bed. And for the record the Costco whiskey is not half bad...
  • Coffee. Amen.
  • Big fat squishy babies 
  • Reading Christmas books from my childhood to my kiddos
  • The sunshine!!!
  • Watching holiday baking shows with mom

And that's a wrap for tonight! Hasty maƱana amigos!

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Blogmas 2017 - Vol. 20

On Good Enough 

So clearly I dropped the proverbial ball for a couple days there... I thought about trying to make up the days but honestly these days I can only do what I can do.

Recently we sent out Christmas cards. I was lamenting to my mother that I couldn't get it together enough to write a letter this year. But I did get cards with pictures on them. And she said to me "good enough... our family motto" 

And it really is my motto lately! And you know what I think that's just fine. Little girl only ate fruit for dinner - good enough. Babies only got showered once this week - good enough. Only a few Christmas decorations up this year - good enough. 

The truth is everybody is still happy. My sweet kids love every little thing and don't know any different. I like everything more because I'm not stressing about every detail. 

Sometimes good enough really is good enough!

Ps - flew alone with the kiddos today. Little girl watched 2hrs of Mickey and ate a metric ton of gummy bears... good enough!

Sunday, December 17, 2017

Blogmas 2017 - Vol. 17

From Non-Belly to Belly Mama

It's so appropriate that 2 years ago I was writing about being a non-belly mama to my daughter...

My dream of becoming a belly mama has come true.  So now SP and I have been on both sides and what an amazing journey it's been. In some ways nothing has changed, in others everything has changed in the most amazing ways.

I'm still a non belly mama and I'm a belly mama.  

Mostly I'm just a mama.

Some people say they feel a difference with their biological kid.  I honestly don't.  I think maybe if somebody told me that I had some sort of amnesia and had actually carried my daughter as well I might believe them.  Nature and nurture are so weird.  Because sometimes my daughter is a carbon copy of my wife.  And sometimes I swear she somehow inherited my DNA through osmosis or something.  

But through it all I'm still over here wiping noses and butts.  I'm still over here kissing boo boo's and fixing broken toys.  I'm still making food they won't eat and doing laundry in an endless loop (it NEVER ends).  I'm still giving a million hugs and singing the same songs over and over and over. I'm still laughing at their crazy antics and melting at their sweetness. 

I think I always thought I would give birth to all of my children. And I really did.  One came from my belly and one came straight from my heart. 

Clearly the universe has unfolded exactly as it was meant to...

Saturday, December 16, 2017

Blogmas 2017 - Vol. 16

Oh yes...She's still here...

Just in case you were wondering - this crazy crazy girl is still here.  Our Fur-st baby will be turning 7 (I think? maybe? I can't remember... It's all a guess anyway) this coming february. Although if you are lucky enough to make her acquaintance you might never know she was turning 7.  She still has about a 5ft vertical jump, she has an insane amount of energy, she eats everything (except chocolate which is a miracle).

She is what I lovingly call a "shelter surprise."  The folks there told us she was a shepard mix.  We now know that was essentially an outright lie!  She's some kind of american dingo/ basenji mix we think.  Basenjis as it turns out - are VERY smart and liver FOREVER (the average age is something insane like 14-16yrs...THE AVERAGE!) So we unknowingly made a very long commitment...

Kori has been nothing but trouble since her first moments. I think it was her first week at home when she ate a needle (oh yes you read that correctly).  By some grace of all things holy she passed it on her own.  After that we spent months training her (HAHA) to not be afraid of everything including leaves, the darkness, plastic name it.  Every day that I came home from work it was a game of "What did Kori eat today?!"  And it was everything you can imagine just fyi - shoes, rolls of quarters, roach traps - you name it, she tried to eat it.

And while she is still very energetic, and still pretty fearful of most things, and still generally bonkers - we do love her!  She is surprisingly gentle with the kids, although she has very little body awareness and is often whacking somebody with a tail.  Once she loves and trusts you she will cuddle you within an inch of your life.  She definitely can read souls and knows exactly when you need a dog to love on.  She is obsessed with curing my tears (to the point that she will body check SP out of the way to make sure I'm ok).  If you've been gone 5 mins or 5 days she's never been more excited to see you (she does not like to be alone!)

And while we joke that she's been "ruining everything since 2010" we can't imagine life without her!

We love you Kori Dog!

Oh yes and we've completely caved and allow
her on the couch...don't even start with me...

Friday, December 15, 2017

Blogmas 2017 - Vol. 15

So I'm tired and it's tonight is a little bit of a cop out - but I'm posting something, so I think it counts!  Without further ado, here's a little bit about lil' ol' me!
25 Facts About Me!

What is your middle name?: Beth
What was favorite subject at school?: English probably
What is your favorite drink?: Coffee, Seltzer Water, Diet Coke - alcohol probably vodka something
What is your favorite song at the moment?: Uh it's pretty much all christmas music all the time right now.  I'm really loving the Pentatonix Christmas Albums!
What is your favorite food?: Uh yeah all the foods.  I love a good everything bagel with cream cheese, I adore a great salad bar, I could probably eat mexican every day of the week.  And bread and cheese yum!
What is the last thing you bought?: Sadly it was a $1 ice cream cone at McDonalds
Favorite book of all time?: I don't know if I can choose.  I loved A Wrinkle In Time; The Secret Life of Bees; When Breath Becomes many
Favorite Colour?: Blue
Do you have any pets?: Crazy Kori Dog!
Favorite Perfume?: I'm cheap and only have body spray from bath and body works.  I like Twilight Woods
Favorite Vacation?: Anywhere tropical with a beach.  I also love Europe - and in particular Paris.
Are you married?: Yep!
Have you ever been out of the country, if so how many times?: Yes - a lot
Do you speak any other language?: I can cobble together enough Spanish to get by at a 4year old level
How many siblings do you have?: One brother by blood, a few sisters by life
What is your favorite shop?: Uh Amazon and/or Target
Favorite restaurant?: Really depends on the mood
When was the last time you cried?: Monday I think; combo of exhaustion and utter garbage happening
Favorite Blog?: Yours! Honestly I still really love Post Secret
Favorite Movie?: Eat Pray Love, Julie Julia, The 1st Harry Potter, Christmas movies
Favorite TV show?: Gilmore Girls
PC or Mac?: Mac
What phone do you have?: White iPhone I honestly don't know what number 
How tall are you?: 5ft 3in on a good day
Can you cook?: Yes, I would say I'm a decent cook

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Blogmas 2017 - Vol. 14

Hello Insomnia My Old Friend

I've never been a good sleeper (except maybe during highschool when I was doing all the sports and was suddenly able to nap!) 

Sleep and I have, for the most part, have always had a tumultuous relationship.  I either can't fall asleep, stay asleep, or just generally don't feel well rested.  And then I got pregnant - which in the beginning was like a natural tranquilizer - like I couldn't stay awake to save my life.  But then it was like my body recognized that I was getting sleep and decided that there would be no more of that nonsense.  And it turns out that the bigger you get the less you sleep.  So I had at least 2 good months where I basically never made it through the night. When baby boy made his appearance I was a wreck.  I already hadn't been sleeping and then his delayed debut really destroyed my body.  And then of course - babies don't sleep so much in the beginning.  The good news was that my inability to fall asleep was effectively cured because I was so stinkin tired that I could fall asleep at the drop of a hat.

As he got older and I went back to work and we got back into a more normal routine my body once again woke up in every sense of the word - oh you think you're going to sleep?! Hahaha No. 

I've seen 4:30am more times in the last month than I can count - and only a handful were because of the small people and or furry folk living in my house.  It's like I just.can'

So short of drugging myself every single night (I'm a walking billboard for zquill) I need ideas.  And yes, I've read books, done meditations (I just can't), gotten up, stayed in bed, counted the things, whispered the prayers...etc.  

But I'm also heading rapidly toward a sleep deprived breaking send em to me folks, the ideas, the juju, the vudoo dolls, the crystals - whatever you got, I'll take it under advisement (and maybe even try it!)  

Until then I'll be the one mainlining the coffee with the big ol' grocery bags under my eyes!


Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Blogmas 2017 - Vol. 13

What I liked about today - The Blogmas 2017 Edition

In no particular order, the things I liked about today:

1) Catered work lunch!
2) 6mo checkup with little buddy

3) A wife who had started dinner before I got home!
4) SP getting home before me!!!
5) Roasted brussels! Yum!
6) Friends who keep me accountable
7) Friends who challenge me to keep learning, keep thinking, and keep trying to do the next right thing
8) The breath in my lungs
9) Sparkling wine in a can
10) One week until vacation!
11) The Alabama election results
12) Finding some free tv!
13) Babies who sleep (knock on wood!)

And for the record Little Buddy's 6mos stats:

Wt: 19lbs 7.2 oz (83%)
Ht: 2' 3.5" (85%)
HC: 17.6" (87%)

Happy Hump Day folks!  

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Blogmas 2017 - Vol. 12

6 Months With Little Buddy

I can't believe that it's already been 6 months since this little one made his way into this world. (His birth story is coming still I promise.)

Little Buddy is the snuggliest, smiliest kid I ever did see.  He is 20lbs of chunky love. Tomorrow is his 6mo appointment, and I can't wait to see his stats - he's just a big ol' squish.

His favorite things as of late are:
-putting everything in his mouth
-putting everything in his mouth
and oh yeah
-putting everything in his mouth ;)

Jk, but that is probably top of the list.

-chomping on all the things
-mama milk - and a lot of it
-the exersaucer
-tv, kid will CRANK his head around to see a screen if he can
-his sister
-his moms
-his friends at daycare (they LOVE baby "donah")
-trying to grab the dog
-rolling like a rolly polly

-rice cereal...just does not seem to care
-the fact that he can not crawl yet
-being left alone for too long
-being made to wait for the mama milk
-seriously...that's it, and I had to really think for those.

Generally little buddy is a super mellow guy.  He has the best laugh - and he shares it frequently.  He sleeps a full night and still takes 2-3naps a day. He does wonderfully at daycare and is loved within an inch of his life.  He can't quite sit up yet - but he's definitely trying (his head is so big!)  He loves trying to eat his feet but his big belly sometimes gets in the way. 

We're so lucky you decided to join our family!  We love you little buddy!