How to remove your finger prints using only paper and your own spit.

  Oh Heyyyy Paper!

Step 1: Open 5 GABILLIONITY GILLIONTY envelopes - each containing approximately a bible's worth of paper.  And those of you reading the old testament like me, you know that's pretty much a sh*t ton.  Excuse my French, but dannnng.

Step 2: Lick your fingers ever 2 pages because they are so dry you can no longer pick up anything, let alone another dang gum piece of paper

Step 3: Get a paper cut.  Lick it.  Dry your fingers out some more 

Step 4: Do this 40 trillion times a day for 10 hours straight for 2-3 weeks straight.  Repeat, repeat, repeat.

I title this one: Study in Desk Surrounded Part 1

And... Study in Desk Surrounded Part 2

It's application season for my fabulous science nerd program right about this time.  And thus begins the portion of my life where I listen to every song that exists on pandora as I sit in my office literally surrounded by students paperwork.  We are WAY over our target applications this year (somewhere around the 920 mark - multiply that by at least 3 pieces of paper and a file folder per applicant and you can see why I have no fingerprints) which means that I will probably not see the light of day for another 2.5 - 3 weeks.  I mean on Friday I forgot to pee.  Me.  The ultimate pee-er of the universe.  I got home and realized I had not peed all day.  That's how you know something is really wrong...

I did something crazy this year though, I hired myself a student worker.  Aka hired slave.  I feel cruel paying this highly intelligent woman minimum wage to open envelopes and file things.  But she needs money and I need help.  And I do listen to good pandora stations so I guess its not the worst deal in the world for her.  For me it's like winning the freakin lottery.  3 hours of help in one day was like magical fairies of joy came down from heaven and cleaned up my pig sty of an office.  I almost cried.. happy sparkle tears that is.

Happy Monday kids.  May your week go fast and your weekend last long!

Over and Out,

Fingerprintless

To my dear (not so) old dad

So just for the record, my dad is definitely better than your dad.  You can try to fight me on this one but I know the truth and I'm always right so don't even start with me.

Today is my superawesomegenius daddy's birthday.  I will not give away his age because apparently as people age the topic of age becomes touchy...  Either way some amount of years on this most beauteous day my father came into this world.  He comes from a different place than the rest of us (no not outer space people) but from the woods, you know like the outdoors.  Most of us are unfamiliar with this place because we are sucked into our virtual worlds (hello, this is a blog...) but my dad grew up playing outside, building things, playing in the DUMP (yeah like a real live trash heap), and in rivers and other naturey outdoorsy things.  And while building things from scraps and taking apart computers and building my own boat do not sound  like appealing activities to me in any way there must be something to this exploration play because my dad is (not to brag) a pretty smart dude.  Not only is he a brilliant mathematician, he can also fix things - a skill I most definitely lack.  He has basic knowledge of cars, plumbing, building, painting, computers the list goes on and on.

But the best part my dad is also just a genuinely good human being.  Over and above all things he has taught me to be the same (I hope I'm turning out to be a good one).  He is helpful (he can't say no...sometimes to his detriment), kind, incredibly dedicated to his students (all you students out their bitching about professors, eat your words), and loves his family.  I am so lucky to have a daddy who coached me in calculus through sobbing phone calls, repaired my computer from 500miles away, is always willing to answer a tech question or a car question or a math question, and who loves me and would do anything to make sure I am ok.  Thanks for tutoring me in every math class I've ever taken (even though I stink), and teaching me to play sports (even though I stink at those as well), and teaching me to be computer literate (that I stink at less!), and for letting me be whoever I wanted to be and loving me just the way I am.   Thanks for working yourself to the bone (you know you are my favorite cash cow!)  so that I could go have my fabulous life!

So today, big thumbs up to all the great dads out there who work hard to support and love their children.  But the biggest kudos goes to my dad, the best one there is.  Happy Birthday Daddy!  I love you!

No pictures just me.

You know what's the best?

When people ask you how you're doing and you answer Great!  And you really mean it.  When that smile bubbles up on your face and you realize how really great you are.  When you feel that lightness in your chest, like things are trucking and you are loving life and laughing and happy. 

My life is SO wonderful lately.  For no particular reason really.  We didn't win the lottery.  We're not going on a big trip, buying something new, doing something out of the ordinary.  But the routine has a beauty in and of it self.  I am reveling in the beauty of the everyday.  And it sounds sappy and mushy and blegh.  and it is.  And I LOVE IT.  So pshhhh.

Sure there are stresses and hard things and some days I'm lying when I answer "Great!" but the majority of the days, the greats are the real thing.  They are the true joy of this life.

I have been working on myself.  It is the "year of Sarah"  Putting myself first and recognizing that in doing so I am better at everything else.  I am a better partner, a better employee, a better friend, a better...person.  And one giant goal for 2012 is to love on purpose.  To be present in every day in every moment in every hope and triumph and dream.  I am loving today on purpose.  I am loving myself on purpose.  I am even loving the person who cut me off on the freeway this morning on purpose ;)  I am recognizing that loving on purpose does not require perfection.  Life doesn't have to be perfect to be loved.  My friends and family do not have to be perfect to be loved and adored.  I do not have to be perfect to be loved.

Working to bring myself ever present, ever hopeful, ever joyful...it is life changing (sappy mc sap sap I know)  I can feel the movement in myself.  The shift in my mind.  The change in myself.  To smile more.  To love more.   To worry less.  To give the benefit of the doubt.  A lot.  To expect the best - not naively, but in a way that removes cynicism.  I used to be this way more I think.  I used to have a lightness inside me that burned on high and somewhere along the way I lost a little piece of that.  I let the world convince me that people are not good, that life is hard, that things don't work out in the end.  And I know that sometimes these are truths.  But pivotal to being me is being optimistic.  It's expecting the best, even when faced with the certainty that the worst is coming.  Because I know in the deepest crevices of me, that this is the way I will make my mark. 

Bringing someone in this life just a little bit more happiness will be my truest measure of success.  Leaving every situation just a little bit better than I found it.  That will be how I'll know I did it right.


If you want to be happy, be.   – Leo Tolstoy

Vday – latesies and stuff

Yall know I’m not that romantic.  I mean a bunch of flowers or a cupcake or a quick trip to your local target is about as romantic as it gets around these parts.  Maybe dinner (not of the frozen variety)

But I decided that this valentines day I would do a little something (emphasis on the little)

So I got SP a kit kat heart like a week before vday and you know what we most DEF ate that entire thing about 5 days before actual vday (whoopsie baloopsie)  On actual valentines day I was like, um should I do something?  I mean I already got the kit kat heart how much hearty-ness does one need?  And then I said to myself, self, get it together and show this love holiday some lovin.  And so I threw on my adorable apron (it really is adorable, I’ll have to show it to you sometime) and I made my lady some heart shaped pizza. 

And I’m not going to lie it was A-to-the-mazing. Even if they were a touch on the lopsided side.

I also made this :) 

(and SP forced me to leave it on the table for the week following)

What I didn’t expect was that when I got home (even though SP and I left at the same time that morning) was a surprise from SP and it was so stinkin cute I almost died.  I love flowers, even though they die, and I love love not-roses flowers.  So these were the perfect and there was a ton of chocolate and oh my did we eat it!

And while I am definitely not a valentines convert, I’m sorry I really hate pink with red I’m just not a fan, it was a very cute day and was another sweet lovin moment.

Also this:

Not from valentines, but just cause.

Post. Script. We are now on a juice fast because eating all that chocolate almost killed me.  More on that later…

A love letter to the Keurig

In honor of good old valentines coming up I figured I'd write a little love letter... This is about all the pink and red you'll be getting from me!

Stole this pic from HERE because the one I actually use is N to the ASTY!

Dear breakroom Keurig,

I don't know how the department managed to justify purchasing you, but I'm oh so glad they did!  You have changed my life!

I love your sexy grunts and rumblings as you heat the water in the water storage compartment that has probably been sitting there for the last 19 days.  I swoon as you shake back and forth a little bit right before you brew me up a cup of spicy sweet coffee in just a lickety split.  I gush as you the hot strong brew hits my cup "in under a minute with just the touch of a button" (credit Keurig website)

Oh Keurig I'm in love. I adore your grimy sides and the extraneous coffee grounds that have spilled all around your k-cup receptacle.  You know how to get caffeine in my veins just when I need it!    Dearest Keurig, shall we be together forever?!

All my love and admiration.  Yours truly, Sarah

Vegan Superbowl and cooking lessons from the Jetsons

Ok so crockpots are really cool.  You throw a bunch of ingredients in it in the morning (or the night before d-day) you put it on low, you leave for work, you come home and there is really rad food waiting for you?!  WHAT?!  Its like magic.  Or the Jetsons.  Or something equally as cool.  Why was I not introduced to the joys of le crockpot earlier?  Probably because my mom made actual real homecooked meals (that were generally good - except those corn fritters mom, I still hate those) and therefore didn't cop out to the crock pot.  But guess what?  I'm lazy, and I work a lot, and when I get home my woman (esmerelda, the crockpot) better have a nice meal ready for me - and oh does she ever.  Pork stew, chili, soup...the goodness abounds.

I guess there are a few downsides to esmerelda - for one thing she seems to only make hot foods.  Which is not nearly as enjoyable when its 102 degrees outside, and I suppose there is the small possibility of fire, or that she creates something super NOT tasty (like that one time I accidentally made a meteorite for dinner…), but so far she has become my newest most favoritest companion (sorry SP...)

Here is what my sisterwife is makin today…(Korean chicken!)

This weekend however was the weekend of produce.  By the bushel.  I don't even know how much a bushel even is... but I'm guessing its a LOT.  (Please note: 1 US bushel = 35.239072 liters thank you google calculator)

Bestie-westy came to town today.  And since she (and her kooky sister) have gone vegan on me it was like produce palooza up in this joint.  Besides the fact that SP and I already consume a disturbing amount of produce, with a vegan in the house our refrigerator was exploding at the seems with kooky fruits, veggies, vegan sauces and dressings.  And let me tell you something.  It was THE BOMB. 

And since it was the superbowl (which apparently real Uh-merican’s must watch) we had vegan superbowl funs (aka my coffee table has exploded with produce).  It was fantastic and we dvr’d it and got our American-ness revoked because we fast forwarded most of the commercials and portions of the game (so sue me).

Not even the half of it...

Dorks studying during the supah bowl....

 Kori loves bestie!

But this is what she REALLY thinks of the superbowl

So in review.  Football is dumb.  Crockpots and produce are awesome.  However I ain’t going vegan any time soon  (I still love you cheese!)  and we all now know how much a bushel is.

Peace out homies!