Monday, December 10, 2012

In my little dreams

In my little dreams I have a different life.  I am a preschool teacher and a stay at home mom.  I spend most of my waking hours with kids.  Loving them and nurturing them and helping them to be the best little people they can be and in the meantime reminding myself that this life we lead is magical and wondrous and awe inspiring - and not as hard as we think it is.

In my little dreams SP has a fantastic job that fulfills her.  She is a physical therapist, or a nurse, or an executive director of a home for the elderly or anything else she wants to be.  She helps people and she loves doing it and her staff respects her and recognizes the talent she has to offer. 

In my little dreams Kori is the same...except a little more well behaved.  And she has a big backyard to run in any time her little heart desires.  And she has another doggie friend to calm her anxiety and some toddlers to run around with she.  She is happy and healthy and vibrant and crazy.

In my little dreams there is a gaggle of children filling my house with laughter.  Little SP's and little Me's, littles of any kind that I know are mine from heaven.  They come in all different colors and sizes but I know that they were dreamed up for me.  There are at least 4 in my dreams (sorry SP...I just don't think 2's gonna cut it)

In my little dreams we have a little house.  It is cozy and comfy and has enough space for kids and visiting family and dogs.  But it's not so big that it doesn't feel like home.  It's not particularly fancy or particular clean all the time but it's filled with love and memories.  It has a backyard big enough for a trampoline (my childhood dream that won't die) and a place to lay out a blanket and read a book in the sun. 

In my little dreams money is never a limiting factor of dreams.  Not that we have a lot of stuff in my dreams, we don't, its just that money doesn't hold us back from dreaming and hoping and working to realize our dreams. 

In my little dreams there are still hard things and bad things and hurtful things, but they are so over-colored by the good things and the happiness that climbing those mountains doesn't seem bad at all.  We don't worry as much in my little dreams.  There is definitely no heart burn in my little dreams.  And anxiety rolls away quickly, like a light rain, it soaks in for a minute and then it just evaporates right off your shoulders. 

In my little dreams I make an impact on people's lives.  They know they can count on me.  They ask me for help and I have the means and ability to help them.  I volunteer and encourage and know that I am leaving somebody's life a little bit better than I found it.  I know in my little dreams, that I am teaching kindness and tolerance and humanity and love. 

In my little dreams my family and my partner (and anybody's loving, healthy family whatever it looks like) is not looked down upon, or judged, or questioned or made to feel any less than anybody else.  In my little dreams this isn't even a dream because it isn't even a question.  

It's gone.  

We just live and love.

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