A Little Ketchup Baby

So I've got several entries I've been saving until we could announce the news so I'll try to run through them in the next few weeks and get errrybody up to speed :)  Here's my first one from RIGHT after we found out!

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5/30/14

BFP!

BIG FAT PREGNANT (for those of you unfamiliar with the trying to conceive acronym language)

That's right.  SP is PREGNANT.  PREGNANNNNNTTTTTT!

SP got the "smiley face" on Mothers day which in and of itself seems pretty magical.  It was quite the gift - seeing as I was feeling pretty non-mothery that day.  The next day we went in for a late morning IUI with my most favorite small asian, very efficient doctor and then out to lunch to cap it all off.

And then we did our best to forget about everything for 2 weeks.  Which was easier this time around because we were insanely busy with trips and visitors etc etc.  Towards the end of the dreaded two week wait SP was pretty convinced that she wasn't pregnant because she didn't feel anything...I was playing Switzerland (but reminded her that the time before she had felt something and then she wasn't pregnant...and oh yes...this was only her 2nd try, damn fertile myrtle!)

So on day 13 of 14 we couldn't take it anymore.  And even though we had guests SP decided she would just take a pregnancy test and see what it said.  So early that morning we are lying in bed, she takes the test, leaves it, takes the dog out, comes back and checks the test and says "it's negative" and throws it away.  We proceeded to throw a small pitty party.  SP is mad, I'm just disappointed.  But oh well it's only time 2 and we will try again and things are working out blah blah blah.  

Finally I get up to use the restroom and decide I will surreptitiously check the test too...you know just in case.  Simultaneously SP yells out, "Can you just check it for me?"  So I pull the test out of the trash (classy I know) and I see TWO FREAKIN LINES.  I wanted to scream (but we had guests) And I was like are you screwing with me this has two lines.  SP swears it only had one line when she looked (its very possible since she probably didn't wait the 3 full minutes.  But this was like 2 REAL lines like not 1 line and a 'maybe' line.  But still we worried it was wrong or an evaporation line or whatever other crazy excuse you could make up in your brain.  And I'm googling everything on the planet and trying not to cry.  And so SP takes another test (because we are junkies) and it's only like a few hours later and you're really supposed to let it build up and stuff but guess what?!  TWO LINES AGAIN.  At this point I'm whisper screaming YOU'RE PREGNANT, YOU ARE PREGNANT and crying in our bathroom as quietly as possible.

It was possibly the craziest moment of my life thus far.  Don't worry she took 2 more pregnancy tests the next day and then a blood test so we're pretty solid now that's she is knocked up!  

1st ultrasound on June 17th!  I can't wait!!!!

BABIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS (well probably just one but still BABYYYYYYYYY!)

Awww yeahhhh!

Answered Prayers and Twisting Paths

Today I'm going to give you a gift.  My heart cracked wide open.  

Just about 12 weeks ago today we found out that my beautiful, kind, loving, amazing wife is PREGNANT!  

I'm not going to lie to you, I've been feeling some serious guilt sharing our super happy news when many people I know are going through some seriously rough times lately.  But then I remember the months and months of crying over negative pregnancy tests and I remember that I trained for this, that I dreamt for this, and hoped for this and have worked for this and walked down every twisty pathway for this.

I have a lot of catching up to do (I've been keeping only a billion journals waiting for this announcement day) and a lot of things to say about mama-hood, and non-gestational parenthood, and love and life.

But for now just this:

Every bit of love from my cracked heart,

Sarah

Summer Bucket List - San Diego!

So over the 4th of July weekend we decided to go down to San Diego to visit the parentals....and because really, who doesn't want to go to San Diego?!  

We spent a long weekend in July stuffing our faces full of sunshine and mexican food. Sadly we didn't get a chance to get to Sea World this time around, but we're still hoping to go when we head back down in late August!  But it didn't even matter because we relaxed, we sat around, we went to the beach, we took a walk by the embarcadero, and we spent the 4th ofJuly at the flying field watching model airplanes and 2 sets of fireworks!  

Flying an airplane!

This is what mathematician's do for fun...

Occasionally there are crashes, oops!

Isn't she cute?!

Oh San Diego, you beauty!

We have a few more SBL's coming up in the next month (including camping - its been so long!)  but otherwise not a ton to report. A new lovie was born last weekend and I'm already in love with him and my good ol' friends are getting married this weekend (pictures of both to come!)

You guys, I'm just loving this summer - it's absolutely jam packed but surprisingly relaxing at the same time.  It's like vacation all the time (while still being at work most of the time...)  

Summer of 2014 for the win!

Besos!
Sarah

Camping Weekend

Go to a Professional Baseball Game (A's Game!)

See a movie in the park (Frozen Sing along!)

House warming party/ dinner party (and it was a BBQ - can you say 2 birds!)

See Fireworks

Go to the Beach  (did this AGAIN in San Diego!)

Go to a Museum

Day in San Francisco

BBQ! (We've been doing this like EVERY night since we got an adult BBQ! Yay backyard!)

Go on a picnic

Have s’mores

Go star gazing

Build a veggie garden

Finish the house painting touch ups

Refinish our bathroom cabinets

Paint and assemble Adirondack chairs

Go to the Zoo

Go to Seaworld

Ice cream from the ice cream truck

Go to San Diego

Sunflower Café 

Summer Bucket List - A Threefer

Two weekends ago (I'm still catching up!) was a banner weekend in the summer bucket list arena.  We hit 3 of the things on the list and I swear I'm not going for efficiency here people (in fact I want to draw the summer out as long as possible!).

Friday evening was date night because we're all romantic and stuff. So I packed up the wife and a bunch of blankets and we went to watch Frozen in the park with approximately 200 seven year olds. So what if we were the only people there without kids, right?! Before the movie we just happened to be right next to Sunflower Drive -In. Sunflower Drive In is this hippy vegetarian restaurant that has been there since 1978. There is no restaurant just a window you walk up to where you can order their famous nut burger.  And let me tell you what it was the bomb diggity.  This vegan burger would turn any carnivore it was that good.  So we grabbed our nut burgers and headed back to listen to said 200 seven year olds proceed to sing the whole movie.  It was one of the single most hilarious things I've ever been witness to.  And I didn't feel like a creepy adult at all!  And with that 2 birds, one stone!

Saturday we crawled out of bed and made our way to the great(?) city of Oakland to watch the green and gold A's beat the Red Sox.  Since I grew up in San Diego, home of the fabulous Padres, I definitely have a thing for the underdog so really it was the perfect game for me.  It's probably been 2 years since I've been to a major league baseball game (I've been sticking to our local minor league team) and it was really fantastic.  The crowd, the energy, the kooky people everywhere, even the $11 beer...loved it all.  Sunkissed, baseball perfection...and the A's even won! (that never happens at Padre's games!)

So there ya go - check, check, check...three more down.  This week we are headed to San Diego to spend the holiday with my parents where I plan to stuff my face full of tortillas and sunshine!

Happy Summer my friends!

Sarah

• Camping Weekend
• Go to a Professional Baseball Game (A's Game!)
• See a movie in the park (Frozen Sing along!)
• House warming party/ dinner party (and it was a BBQ - can you say 2 birds!)
• See Fireworks
• Go to the Beach
• Go to a Museum
• Day in San Francisco
• BBQ! (We've been doing this like EVERY night since we got an adult BBQ! Yay backyard!)
• Go on a picnic
• Have s’mores
• Go star gazing
• Build a veggie garden
• Finish the house painting touch ups
• Refinish our bathroom cabinets
• Paint and assemble Adirondack chairs
• Go to the Zoo
• Go to Seaworld
• Ice cream from the ice cream truck
• Go to San Diego
• Sunflower Café (Yum! and I found out it's called Sunflower Drive in...oops!)

Summer Bucket List 2014

So apparently this is a thing - you make a list of things you want to do/enjoy/accomplish over the summer and then you spend your beautiful, leisurely summer doing/enjoying/accomplishing said things.

In previous years, as you may or may not know, (depending on how long you've been reading) summer was not a free time for me.  In fact it was my most busy, most stressful time of the year.

But this year, seeing as I got a different job last year (one year on June 3rd!), things are different.  For example, I'm not having rampant stomach pains and I’m not mainlining caffeine (as much…)  And I’m taking 2 vacations IN.THE.SUMMER.  Have I mentioned recently that I love my new job?  I love my new job.  I LOVE MY NEW(ish) JOB!

So since I have free time this summer (so weird still) I decided to jump on the train and give into peer pressure (thanks More Than Words and Little Monsters!) and create an SBL of my own (with some input from SP).

Without further ado and in no particular order…

Summer Bucket List 2014 

• Camping Weekend
• Go to a Professional Baseball Game
• See a movie in the park
• House warming party/ dinner party (and it was a BBQ - can you say 2 birds!)
• See Fireworks
• Go to the Beach
• Go to a Museum
• Day in San Francisco
• BBQ! (We've been doing this like EVERY night since we got an adult BBQ! Yay backyard!)
• Go on a picnic
• Have s’mores
• Go star gazing
• Build a veggie garden
• Finish the house painting touch ups
• Refinish our bathroom cabinets
• Paint and assemble Adirondack chairs
• Go to the Zoo
• Go to Seaworld
• Ice cream from the ice cream truck
• Go to San Diego
• Sunflower Café

We accomplished the first of the list last weekend as we spontaneously decided to have a beach day!  As a So Cal girl at heart, I yearn for the beach.  Unfortunately the beautiful beach is a good two hours away here, but it is oh so worth the drive!

Happy Summer-ing my friends – I’m so glad I can join you this year!

XO

Sarah

So I Married a Mormon (ps I'm Gay...)

This post is part of Mombian's Annual Blogging for LGBTQ Families.  Check out all the posts HERE!

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I happen to be a woman who married another woman.  It also happens that one of us was raised catholic (moi) and one of us was raised Mormon (her)

When we met neither of us was practicing any sort of specific religion as we felt alienated from our respective faiths and just really weren't sure where we fit in that whole smorgasboard. 

As our relationship progressed however there were quite a few stumbling blocks relating to our past religious affiliations.  Neither Catholics or Mormons condone "homosexual behavior."  My parents, although initially surprised, were incredibly supportive (it is fair to note as well that while my mother was raised catholic she's a pretty free spirit and my father is an atheist so I had a pretty open religious upbringing)  My church home on the other hand - thats an ancient work in progress.  One that I have currently decided is moving too slow for me to participate in.

My wife, however, had quite a few hurdles to jump with her family - as the majority are practicing Mormons.  So on top of the initial surprise that I would say is typical in the continuous coming out process, there were some religious tightropes to be walked by all.

I won't sugar coat it - when my wife came out to her family the response was anything but good (barring a few family members we had already confided in).  In fact it was almost a year of back and forth hurtful comments, religious dogma, and oceans of tears. 

This story, however, ends well (I think.)

While my wife's family are still very much practicing Mormons (and we are currently attending a Methodist church...) the ability to change, grow, forgive and love have mended some broken hearts. There is still plenty of room for improvement (a life-long journey I'm sure) but I'd like to think we are all approaching these relationships in the true spirit of the same God we all worship - with openness, and tenderness, respect, and ultimately love.

I truly hope that one day my family can choose whatever religious institution we feel called to attend, and while it will never be Mormon for us because I love my coffee too much - I'd like the options to always be there.  

That being said, I'm also open to your religion not accepting me.  Because that my friends is called religious freedom.  However, I do have the expectation that you will treat people as they wish to be treated and respect and LOVE them as they are.  Tolerance is a cop out I am unwilling to accept.  Especially from those who claim to worship all loving, all merciful, all knowing Gods - I would assume a perfect being such as that would expect more from you as well...

But that's not the point.  The point is, times are a'changin.  And Love is an amazing power that we all possess.  It builds bridges and fortresses and kingdoms. Love is so strong that it can build bridges where nothing (absolutely nothing) stood before. In fact Love is so strong it can build bridges between happy lesbian wives and one big Mormon family.  

And if that's not a victory, I don't know what is!

-Sarah

On Not Glossing Over - With Love to UCSB

Honestly I didn't want to write anything about the Santa Barbara shooting.  It hurts too much I thought...its tragic and hurtful and lets let it pass.

And that feeling is exactly the reason I'm mentioning it.

When did I become one of the masses who just lets these tragedies pass by?  And even more tragically I think that I represent the generic whole, the "they's" if you will.  We are the ones not directly affected right now, at this time. and therefore we can say the pleasantries like "oh how sad" or "I can't believe this happened again" or "what is wrong with this country?" or a million other little phrases you say to pacify yourself.  And then you move on with your regular life.  Breathing in and out.  Going through your everyday routines, work, sleep, life.

The problem is there are 7 people who won't be going through their routines today.  Who won't be breathing in and out.  And there are infinitely more people also won't be going through their routines, and are having a really hard time with just getting their breathing under control.

So now I'm just sad.  I ache for the families who have lost these beautiful souls.  I'm desperately sad for the man who committed these acts of violence.  And I'm disappointed in myself, that even for one moment I considered letting it all pass me by.

Hate me or love me, but I believe no civilian should have a gun in there home.  I mean really I can argue that no one should have a gun in their HOME period.  But I'm realistic, I understand that people want guns.  But that's just the problem.  People want guns.  What is that about?  Fear? We've really become the society that feels we need to defend ourselves so desperately from our neighbors that we need semi automatic rifles in our homes?!

People say that guns are fun (sick if you ask me)  That we have a constitutional right to bear arms.  That the government shouldn't dictate our freedoms.  Blah blah blah.  You know what I hear.  I hear selfishness.  I hear, my enjoyment and my fear come before your safety as a human being.  I hear, I am inflexible and unwilling to move with the times.

I don't even want to touch the misogyny aspect or the violence against women because its too much and my head will explode right here and right now (and trust me these things they must be addressed, but I know my limits)  

I just want to deal with the gun violence.  And I just want it to end.  

Whether you want to admit it or not, this human race is a family.  We are bound together by our humanity and, I'd like to think, by a larger belonging.  It is our duty to be good to one another. To be accountable for each other.  And this world as it is now, its not the one I choose.  I have to believe we can be better than this.  That we can stop defending gun violence and instead choose life and safety over personal freedom.  I know I will.  If you tell me tomorrow that the only way to keep everybody on this planet safe from unimaginable tragedy is to get rid of every car on this planet I would do it.  In a heartbeat. Yes it would take away some freedoms, and yes it might be inconvenient in some moments, and I would miss it a little because driving is fun but I'd still push my car off the cliff to stop even one tragedy.  Because we belong to one another!  And because I have to believe that we can do better - for ourselves, for our children, for our grandchildren...  We can be the heroes of our own stories, we can stand up when every one else sits down, and we can talk about it when it's easier to just gloss over.  I can do more.  And I know you can too.  

It is ironically tragic that we also lost Maya Angelou from the world this week.  One of the great Peacemongers of our time.  And because she will always say it more gracefully than I, I will give you her words:

"We, Angels and Mortal's, Believers and Non-Believers,
Look heavenward and speak the word aloud.
Peace. We look at our world and speak the word aloud.
Peace. We look at each other, then into ourselves
And we say without shyness or apology or hesitation.

Peace, My Brother.
Peace, My Sister.
Peace, My Soul.”

-Maya Angelou

Maybe tomorrow I can't lead everyone to a worldwide surrender of firearms, thats true.  But I can write my representatives. And I can sign the petitions circling around. And I can donate money to peaceful programs

And most importantly -  I can speak Peace, when its easier to speak hate.

Love,
Your sister