Sunday, January 1, 2017

Light in the Darkness - Aka Goodbye Crappy 2016

Happy 2017 my friends!  

My annual re-cap is a day late and to be honest it hasn't been a banner blogging year for me - especially sparse as of late.  But I have a good reason.

In case you missed the news...

Yep, that's right, little ole me is PREGNANT.  And as it turns out - using a lot of science to create a gayby and then making a human life and managing a toddler and a life really take it out of you.

But, even though I'm terrified for this coming New Year, I'm determined to find the shiny side of this new slate.  So, first a quick recap of my paltry blogging and the highlights of our year and then onto some goals and hopes and dreams for 2017.

So without any further a do... 2016 in a nutshell:

I turned 30!  It turns out that I love 30.  I feel good and settled.  I have a wife I love and a beautiful daughter.  And in honor of being 3 decades SP and I drop baby girl off with my parents and head to mexico for a long weekend.  And it's AMAZING!

I suck at blogging but in my defense February is a short month.  Baby girl turns ONE whole year old!

I finally get around to blogging about baby girl's First Birthday Bash!  It was a perfect celebration of surviving the first year and thanking those who helped us navigate the incredible roller coaster that is parenthood. And somewhere in Feb/March baby girl starts walking!  A whole new crazy world.  We also did a quick run away to the mountains this month and stick baby girl in the snow...she is less than impressed.

I catch up a little bit but the time still keeps flying by.  We have a zoo day with friends and celebrate easter with our little family.  We also throw a bangin baby shower for our dear friends...and just in time because their little one showed up shortly after a tad earlier than expected.  (for the record we are in love with that little nugget - including baby girl who asks for her little friendALL the time!)

We get a housekeeper and life is so much better.  We still have them come in once a month and it seriously has made a huge difference in my happiness level.  We were also supposed to go camping this month but then we all got hand foot and mouth - joy!  Let me tell you what - hand foot and mouth hurts like a you know what!  Don't recommend it!

I finally get my summer bucket list up on the blog - even though I barely did any follow up on it (so much suckiness with the blogging this year!).  We did actually do some of the bucket list - we eventually went camping (end of August), we (aka SP) fixed up our master bathroom, we had several brunches with our friends, I killed my tomato plant... 

June was also secretly when we started trying to make baby number two.  I have a TON of hidden journal entries that I will eventually get around to putting up here.  Let's just say that IVF is no joke and neither is OHSS.  I'm a pro at giving myself shots now...and I'm also a pro at having my blood drawn.

And then Orlando happened.  And the human race broke my heart again.  I still don't have any words to talk about it.  Just tears and sorrow.

At the end of June my parents came to visit and we took baby girl to a little farm and to visit her uncle (but you know...I wrote about it in July)! And then we rapidly followed that up by heading down south to go to a wonderful wedding and spend a week relaxing. Unfortunately this was also when we found out that our first round of IVF had not worked.  It was a rough roller coaster but it was nice to be distracted by the sun and the sand.  And SP and I snuck off for an overnight alone!  

In July baby girl and I also did swimming lessons.  Which.were.awful!  But I'm still glad we did it.  We continued to lie about trying to add a baby to our family ;)  And we babysat a cute baby! 

I suck at blogging.  I go visit some friends in so cal.  I don't say anything about it on the blog because I suck at blogging.  It is a really much needed weekend with some of my most favorite girl friends.  We also go camping - it is hot as you know where.  We also get to do my first shot for IVF #2 in a tent by flashlight...  However baby girl suddenly decides that she loves the water during this camping trip so that's something.

I suck at blogging.  IVF #2 takes place.  On Sept 21st - International Day of Peace - we transfer one embryo.  A week later I get my first EVER positive pregnancy test after a cumulative 3 years of trying.  I spend September at the doctor and being terrified it won't stick.

I suck at blogging.  Also morning sickness.

The election happens.  And once again - heart break.  I kind of spiraled into a dark sadness after that.  And I continue to suck at blogging.

I finally feel solid enough to announce to the world that baby #2 is coming in June!  I do still suck at blogging though.  We had a wonderful Christmas at home just the 3 of us and then we jetted off to the east coast to spend a week with my grandparents and parents and brother and aunt.  It was busy but wonderful to see them all.

And then here we are...

So 2017...what are we going to do with you eh?  Well for one thing, I won't be making any specific resolutions because they just don't really work for me.  I do have a few concrete goals and I have an overarching theme to work on this year as well.

My concrete goals are relatively simple:

  • Send more snail mail!  Send cards for all occasions (ON TIME - that's going to be the real work)  I love snail mail and I know others love it too.  So here's to stimulating the postal service.
  • Read more books.  I've gotten back into it lately, but in general I'd like to spend a little less time tv watching and a little more time feeding my book nerd self.
  • Find a faith community.  I really miss church and how it feeds my spiritual self.  I wouldn't call myself particularly religious anymore (I once was) but I desperately miss some of the rituals and I miss the community.  And I miss the focus on serving others and self betterment and overall love.  I'm still struggling a lot with the round peg square hole situation I've been feeling about religion since I no longer attend the catholic church...but it's high time I find something that fills my soul.
  • Get in the picture.  I'm the quintessential mom behind the camera.  I want to be in the memories too!  And I want to print more pictures and make more photo books.
  • Blog 1x per week.  2017 is going to be a banner year - one way or another. And I want the record.  I miss having the memories down on "paper."  And I miss contributing to the online community.
  • Healthy Baby Healthy Mama. Take care of myself and this little one I'm growing!  Get him/her here safely!

Overall this year I think I'm going to focus on Finding the Light.  I have a lot of fears about the darkness in this world.  And thusly it is time to be light and live light!  I want to prove people wrong with love.  I want to find the small joys.  I want to build love and light around me.  I want to make the best of whatever comes along.  A small crack in the darkness is all it really takes to start a revolution.  It is time to love fiercely and fight even harder.

Be Brave, Live Bright!


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